Papa finally in a NH for “Rehab” - He has Parkinson’s and early stage dementia. Should I push back on visiting because he’s new there?

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BeckyT Asked March 2020

Papa finally in a NH for “Rehab” - He has Parkinson’s and early stage dementia. Should I push back on visiting because he’s new there?

My Papa has Parkinson’s and was in a NH two years ago, when he talked his doctor into letting him go home. Everyone here thought the doctor had lost his mind, to put it kindly.

He’s steadily gone downhill, as expected, at 92 with this disease. He’s down to 124# and so weak he fell and was hospitalized. He failed the hospital PT test, so could not be released home (Hallelujah).

So, he was sent to the NH on Tuesday. Wednesday, they banned all visitors due to the corona virus, per the CDC and the Governor of Florida. I have searched cdc.gov and the Florida website and I do not see any mandatory ban - it’s just a suggestion.

What do you all think? Should I push back, because he’s new there and confused? Or leave it alone, and he won’t be able to see us for God knows how long? I understand their logic. My sister wants to bring him home. What are your NHs doing? The one day we were there, we had to fill out a form and use hand sanitizer in front of staff.

One family had a devastating day. Their Mom turned 100 yesterday. They came with a huge cake, balloons, presents - but they were turned away.

Care Decisions Elder Law Skilled Nursing Facility

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score 12 · Answer 1

My LO’s AL is on lockdown, NO ONE IN, NO ONE OUT.

I would imagine that the family whose day was “devastating” would most likely feel worse if their mom were taken y the virus rather than celebrating with them.

The reality is that the age group served by NHs and ALs is the MOST VULNERABLE to catastrophic symptoms, so the best way to address this disease is to avoid it.

I’m very grateful that highest security is available to my LO. She deserves the very best I can get for her, which in this case I AM CERTAIN, is total isolation.

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score 9 · Answer 2

Most residential facilities are forbidding visitors - probably for about 2-3 weeks - since the clients are a high risk group. The only way the virus will get into their population is if staff or visitors bring it. Staff are being well-trained about disease prevention and hygiene. You can't get that with visitors. So, stick with the quarantine. Maybe you can arrange a "window visit", call ahead and arrange for your loved one to be near the closed window. You then talk via your cell phone to him while they see you through the closed window.

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score 8 · Answer 3

My MIL's facility just put a ban on all visitors (in MN) but they assigned a staff member to do FaceTime calls for residents. The timing for your dad is unfortunate but it will allow him to adjust better since he won't be "reliant" on your visits. Does he have a phone in his room? Ask them about FaceTime calling. In this weird time you will need to contact them often and don't assume anything -- they are running on all cylinders trying to protect their residents and appease the families.

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score 6 · Answer 4

No don’t push back. You actually need to let him acclimate and get settled. Even if there weren’t restrictions because of the corona virus, it wouldn’t be wise to visit him yet. You also need to think of the other residents.

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score 4 · Answer 5

From what I understand, ALL facilities everywhere are keeping visitors OUT of buildings and the RESIDENTS IN - nothing you can do. Use the phone and don't endanger anyone with the virus. Nothing you can do - I have it here too - horrible but that is the way it is.

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score 3 · Answer 6

Let us weigh the options here...is it better to get the whole nursing home possibly sick from coronavirus when their immune system is already down or is it better to have him lonely for 2 months but you can still call him?! Personally, you don’t have a choice, if NH says no visits, there are no visits.

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score 3 · Answer 7

You must follow the rules put in place for COVID-19.

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score 2 · Answer 8

My friend JUST placed his beloved wife in a Dementia unit,only to be told no visitors are allowed.I suggest that you accept this, and see if you can get on Facetime via a smart phone.I live in Delaware,but I think this situation will be a nationwide law soon. You will only succeed in having your beloved sent elsewhere.Parties are fun and visits -- but can kill innocent old people.All best,Richard Sund

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score 2 · Answer 9

Just follow the rules for the nursing home. I didn't see my Mom very often and she had no idea if I was there 10 minutes ago or weeks before. Hopefully this virus will be over soon and we could get on with our normal lives. Stay strong.

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score 2 · Answer 10

The family that mother turned 100 should’ve asked permission first. Be glad that this SNF is being vigilant & careful. Don’t fight it & don’t argue w staff about not being able to visit. It has come the time for him to stay there & get adjusted. He’ll do better there & adjust. Hugs 🤗

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Papa finally in a NH for “Rehab” - He has Parkinson’s and early stage dementia. Should I push back on visiting because he’s new there?

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