How do I control my Mom’s alcohol intake?

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Beatty64 Asked March 2020

How do I control my Mom’s alcohol intake?

My 87 year old Mother moved in with me and my husband 2 years ago. She has short term memory loss but other than that, is very content.

I never saw my Mom drink one time while I was growing up but now she is drinking way too much Bailey’s every night.

She asks me to buy her the largest bottle, which is 175 ml’s. It’s huge. She takes it to her apartment we created for her upstairs and drinks glass after glass starting around 4pm and the bottle is gone within a week.

I googled Baileys and learned there is whisky in it!

It has 17% alcohol which is more than wine or beer. She is 5 foot and weighs 100 pounds. I honestly think she doesn’t remember how many glasses she’s had, with her short term memory loss.

When I try to talk to her about drinking so much Bailey’s, she gets very defensive and tells me to mind my own business!

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to monitor how much she drinks each evening? I suggested to her that I would bring her a glass each night and she shot that idea down!

Any advice is greatly appreciated!

Alcohol Abuse Multi-generational Living New to Caregiving

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score 0 · Answer 1

Do you think she is an alcoholic? I am asking because then she can’t just quit ‘cold turkey.’ It’s actually dangerous to do so. I think I would relay this information to her doctor and see what he/she says.

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score 0 · Answer 2

"The store was out. Said they won't get a shipment for at least a week."

"They were all out of the big bottles, and only had 3 little ones left. I'll keep two down here in the pantry for now" (and hide them)

"Oh shoot, the store's closed."

Seriously though, the amount of calories in Bailey's is scarier than the alcohol content.

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score 0 · Answer 3

Perhaps you could offer an after dinner drink of coffee with Baileys coffee creamer😉. Just make it decaf😭.

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score 1 · Answer 4

If she's not concerned about the alcohol she might care about the calories, Bailey's is whiskey and CREAM, it has 100 calories in each ounce!

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score 0 · Answer 5

Bailey’s Irish Cream is bottled in the US at 17% ABV, if we assume that a beer is 5% ABV, that means that the Bailey’s contains 3.4 times the alcohol as beer. If your beer is 16 oz by volume it would contain 0.8oz of pure ethanol. A 1.5 oz shot of Bailey’s would contain 0.255oz of pure ethanol. Therefore a 16oz beer contains the same amount of alcohol as 3.13 shots (1.5oz) of Bailey’s.

Bailey’s concoction is ideally formulated to challenge the stomach of those with gastric problems, especially individuals prone to reflux and gastro-irritations.

Is your Mother overweight, have diabetes (it has lots of cream),
have gerd or g.i. distress? Is her abdomen swollen? Can you ask her doctor?

Does she pass out or oversleep daily?

I do not have the right calculations or facts to determine if she is having an unhealthy amount.

175 ml is equal to 1.75 L ? Is this equal to 8 ounces a day?

Idea: Choose between medications or alcohol. Not both?

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Yah, I'm guessing she meant the 1.14L bottle or something. 175 ml is smaller than a can of coke.

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score 1 · Answer 6

The math is off. Is she having a total of 175 ml., or 175 L ???
in one week.

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score 1 · Answer 7

My mother is 95 and just started drinking to get to sleep and get her mind off her future, which she is getting closer to death. She drinks to forget about it. She takes call a bus and buys her own booze. She lives alone in her house so she can do whatever she wants.

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score 6 · Answer 8

How do you control her intake?....
Well easy answer is to not buy Baileys's for her.
Or
Buy it but give her a bit every night do not give her the whole bottle.
You say she shot the idea down. Well Your House Your Rules. If she does not want to follow the rules the two of you can look for Assisted Living facility for her. I am sure she will come around to your way of thinking.

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score 1 · Answer 9

Well, I know when I am 87, my DD will say I can do whatever the hell I want as long as I don't drive

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score 2 · Answer 10

Here is what I do with mom,, I take her glass of wine to her, loaded with ice. She drank 2 anight until she ended up in the hospital ( not from drinking) but after she came home I limited it. She lives in my house ( like your mom does,, remember that,, it's your house) So it's my rules. Once in a while ( not often) she also wants a Baileys.. so I let her have one some afternoons.. loaded with ice and I add milk or cream to also dilute it. Her Dr has approved a glass of wine a night for her heart.. heck she is almost 90,, and it is one of her last pleasures. And I have to agree Baileys is darn tasty! But it's like children,, your house,, your rules. If you don't cut her off entirely she may be more likely to listen to you.. But DO NOT let her take her bottle to her room, or you have lost the battle before it begins. I keep moms wine in the kitchen,, she can't get to it unless one of us sees her, and that keeps her honest.

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score 3 · Answer 11

Beatty, you don't have to buy it for her. Hopefully you aren't paying for it. An option would be to give her the bottle but water it down with more cream or milk beforehand. You can tell her it's pricey and can probably make a similar home version, just use less whiskey. Again, you can give her 1 glass and walk away from any anger or requests for more. Tell her if she can't live with 1 per night she may not get any. I know others will post that she's an adult and should be able to do what she wants but it is in your home and you're responsible for any aftermath if she falls and gets hurt. I love Bailey's...

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score 1 · Answer 12

Are you seeing your mother later in the day when she is inebriated? This is WAY too much alcohol. You cannot provide her with this, whether it upsets her or not. There will soon enough be a serious fall or injury.

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I agree ,, I can;t see my mom drunk, she is unstable enough sober! She went to stay with my "perfect" cousin in Tx a few years ago,, they sent me a video of mom being put to bed crapfaced, because they thought is was funny... right.. not to me! Needless to say she has not been back, and I still think my perfect cousin is a POS to this day. How would she like it if I had done that to her mom?

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How do I control my Mom’s alcohol intake?

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