How are you talking with Alzheimer's and dementia parents about the Corona Virus shut down?

My mother celebrated her 88th birthday today in a locked down Memory Care Unit. We were able to Skype with her which was reassuring for us that she appeared healthy. I had dropped off a cake but the staff had already gotten a cake and balloons which was so kind. Although it is particularly difficult to not spend time with her after visiting daily, I think her risk of contracting COVID19 is lower in this environment (as long as staff maintains good screening and hygiene practices) than out in the community. Good luck with your loved one!

My 82 y.o. Alz. mother hasn't gone out for days and she's getting bored being indoor. I do feel bad for her, but between the cold, the rain, and now the virus, there's no place to take her. Costcos are packed, so are supermarkets, other places are closed. She asks to go out. So I have to make up excuses to tell her. Her understanding of things is that of a kid so we have to give her straight forward simple reasons.

Roads are being fixed, so can't drive today.
Car is in the shop.
It's raining right now. Maybe later.
I'm sick today.

We recycle the excuses as she doesn't remember hearing them before. So each time is the first time for her.

Poor mom.

MIL lives in the country, isolated - so that's already in our favor.

But she wouldn't really get the seriousness of it (to be fair, she would have poo - poo'd the seriousness LONG before the dementia too, she just doesn't care -if she wants to go to town, then she wants it now, all else be darned!)

So I just told her "You can't go to town for awhile. There is a virus going around and it's dangerous - they are saying anyone over the age of 60 has to stay home" She's 83 ;) She doesn't drive, I'm the only car she can get in and out of -- so if I don't take her, *hopefully* that means she stays home.

I didn't say "Because you are old" she would say "No I'm Not"
I didn't say "It's not safe" she'd say "I'll be fine"
I didn't say "We don't want you to go" she'd say "I don't care"

I blamed it on THEY . . . those mysterious folks in charge :) Not me, not her, not family!

I'm just hoping she doesn't go across the road and try to get the neighbor to take her. She got a dividend check in the mail this week, and it's burning a hole in her pocket. Just thinks she has to go to town RIGHT NOW and get that baby cashed *sigh*

I told my mother and she appeared fine but next day she wanted to go home to her mother. Praying, folding her hands and singing to Jesus comforted her.. She wanted to take us all out to dinner today but I told her we have to stay home because of the virus. We watch Fox news all day long so she definitely knows what's going on. Don't know if it was the wisest decision to tell my mom.

I have not seen my sister for 2 weeks due to corona lockdown at the facility. We were lucky enough to finally get a spot at a new facility-they are also in lock down. I was told I could come pick her up and then drop off at new facility-Neither places are not saying they have cases or not. Residents are in private rooms-staff are being checked daily upon entry to building-presumably all residents monitored too-since most have probably been exposed from visitors etc. before the lock down started. I did tell sis the "flu" is going around and that we don't want to make her sick. I will visit when I can. She won't remember what I said-she did not ask anything more. Sis is crying a lot and very confused from the change-horrible timing for change/lockdown but had to grab the spot after digging for new facility for 5 months. Trying to arrange phone dates with her-staff will need to dial my number and get her on the phone-she can not do this by herself now.

Side bar on new facility hunt: I requested nursing notes from previous place as we had been turned down at 2 places during Jan-Feb-I suspected something in the facility info was causing a road block for us getting out of there. Discovered nursing had included partial-one sided-notes of a phone conversation about a medication change-only including what nurse says I said to her. Some was true some was not-nurse said I yelled at her and told her the facility is a dump. I never yelled at anyone there ever and would have never told them out loud the place really is a dump and the staff are negligent nearly every day. -I did not want to create a situation where they would do even less than nothing for my sister. This nurse had an attitude with the dr. office about med change also. Nurse was bad news when I was not compliant with their demands to change meds-and created a reason for potential places to refuse us when she portrayed me as "the problem in this equation". Also discovered past community did not provide correct/current medication list to the new place so now we are trying to sort that out now on top of everything else. I did send an email to past facility admin about the phone call the same day-yes I did cut off the woman because I did not want to get irritated and angry with her about the way she was talking to me-I said I have to go now-click.

It really depends on what level they’re at. Can they understand what you’re saying? Would it frighten them? Unless you need to speak with them regarding self-isolation and personal hygiene like hand-washing, I would not bring up the subject of a pandemic with someone suffering with dementia just as a topic of conversation.

I wouldn't mention it at all. When I was caring for mom we had unprecedented wildfires about 60 miles away. Mom was so worried and it effected her behavior negatively. Nope, would not tell her about CV, she would never be able to understand and would lash out. No more television news, for sure!

I suggest you don't. They won't understand anyway. Whatever you say today you will have to repeat anyway. It causes unnecessary stress and confusion. Give them music - earphones and a small ipod that you can load with familiar tunes.

Your loved ones with cognitive issues may not understand the reasons for lock down - ever. The simplest answer is to tell them you are sick and can't visit... which in a twisted kind of way is the reason all our at risk populations should be in isolation now.

I doubt there are many Alzheimer patients who even know about a virus going on. It's not going to register in their heads. No one is allowed into my husband's memory center and he doesn't have the ability to talk on the phone. Have not seen him in two weeks. I worry that he has no clue where I am (I already know he doesn't know where HE is), why I don't come, what's happening. It's very worrisome. I may not see him for weeks and weeks. I have an idea by the time I see him again he will have permanently forgotten me after 52 years of marriage. Going to the facility and standing outside and having them bring him to the window is NOT an option for him. He's on his feet, he's a flight risk and will try to come through the window to get to me! So I just sit here and try to stay occupied. My blood pressure is soaring.