Mom hygiene; does anyone else have to explain to their bedridden loved one it is okay to relieve themselves in their diaper?

We are socialized from a very young age to feel shame for not getting to the toilet in time, telling someone who is aware and would otherwise be continent to just go in their pants goes against every instinct. It grieves me when I hear about people who are bedridden because their caregivers are left with no better options - is your mother not able to bear weight at all, could she not pivot transfer to a bedside commode? No possibility of getting a lift, if not for toileting at least to get her out of bed for part of the day?

The answer is yes, earlybird - it is possible to use the Hoyer for transfers to commode, wheelchair, or riser recliner - just about anything, really, I suppose.

If you weren't given the right manual with your Hoyer lift (sometimes the slings come from other suppliers and the manuals go astray), you should be able to:

find the exact make and model of the slings you're using on their labels
type that into Google
look in the results for instruction manuals or booklets or downloads

When you've located the right brand and type, you will be able to see diagrams which show you how to position the leg straps correctly for "dignity" or "toileting/toilet transfers." It's really just a matter of strategic positioning; plus in the toileting set-up you or the caregiver need to watch your mother's legs to make sure they don't waggle around and hit something while she's being hoisted and transferred. No physical strength required, you just lay your hand on them gently and keep them still.

If she will be sitting on the commode, you will also want to position her upright when she is being hoisted. Again, this is explained in the manual: depending on which loops the hooks go in, the person is more or less perpendicular once raised from the bed.

When lowering, as you have two people there, one person should lower while the other keeps watch on how your mother's body is settling into position. Have a key word - "stop" is good! - so that you can pause the operation to make minor adjustments, if necessary. A common problem, for example, is being a bit too far back so that the person's spine is pressed uncomfortably against the commode's back. Practice makes perfect, it's only a matter of a little tweak here and there.

I practised on myself! - could you and the assistant takes turns? :)

If somebody told you that would you be fine with it?

What prevents your mother from getting out of bed? (I'm not challenging, this is a genuine question - to which there may be a solution).

My mother has very weak lower extremities. He legs buckle at times. I put her on the commode every two hours with my assistant. Three weeks ago I fell and broke three rubs unable to lift, extreme pain. I was glad I got a Hoyer in Oct, just in case I needed it. The Hoyer was ordered by the doctor in the summer and took a while to get it. My assistant used the Hoyer lift to get her up and put her back to bed. There were times when we just got her back to bed, and she said she had to pee. I did tell her to pee her pants it was ok, but when my assistant told her that she tells her to pee her own pants. It is kind of funny. Is it possible to use a Hoyer to get her on the commode and chair? It would be beneficial to prevent a possible UTI or pneumonia . My mother just sits and the Hoyer does the rest, not necessary to stand her. Love this equipment especially when only one caregiver is available to do the lifting.

Can you get her to a commode that you can put by her bed? There is also equipment that you can use to help get her up to a chair or the commode. A Hoyer Lift would help you out a lot this way. And there is a sling that has a commode hole so it is easy to position her. Although I found the sling with the "split leg" straps to be easier.
If she bear a bit of weight and hold on a Sit to Stand might work but the Hoyer is easier.

Ask her doctor if they can write and order for nurse visits through home health care. These nurses can assess yiur situation and your mom and suggest ways to help both of you. My husband uses a urinal and a bed pan. No, it’s not fun as it seems that some days I am constantly up and down from the chair helping him. But we’ve chosen to care for our loved ones at home and that’s just part of it.

There are people who no longer experience 'urgency': they are unaware of needing to open their bowels or pass urine. There are people whose bladder or bowel is impaired and they are physically unable to retain waste. These people are incontinent.

People who can't get out of bed, or can't get out of bed quickly enough to get to the toilet/commode, or for someone to bring them a bedpan - these people are not incontinent. If they say they need to use the bathroom, they need help to "use the bathroom" by whatever method is best for them. Which won't be wetting or soiling themselves in a diaper.

With a Hoyer lift the person doesn't need to be able to stand. There are toileting slings which allow the person to be transferred safely from lying on the bed to sitting on the commode; so as long as the person can sit, with upper body support if necessary, transfers are doable.

If the person can stand at all, transfers are doable.

If the person can sit and slide himself or herself, transfers are doable.

God bless occupational therapists!

My mom was exactly like this - even in the hospital she would say she needed to get up and go to bathroom and they would say over and over ' you can go in the diaper we just put on you.' She did have a bedside commode, but when she got bedridden that was not an option. Yes a Hoyer Lift for anyone who could use it would be helpful if the person can stand safely. It's part of dementia I guess, although no one likes to think that they are back to a diaper like a baby, and I can empathize with that.

Correction from the last post. It is possible to get a patient out of bed to w/c , chair and commode. We have not tried the commode as of yet, but we have been using it for transfers to bed, chair and w/c. We are doing a pivot transfer to commode with assistant doing most of the lifting due to my injury. Thanks to Countrymouse she always has such good advice, we are going to try the Hoyer to commode.