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Buckwheatie1963 Asked March 2020

How to explain options?

Need to consider assisted living with my mom who does not want to leave her house. How best to have this conversation now?

Ahmijoy Mar 2020
Unless Mom’s safety is in danger, you might want to step back for a bit. Making going to Assisted Living the topic of every conversation you have with her, if you in fact are, will not solve anything. None of us relishes being told by our children that we have to leave a home we’ve lived in for years and perhaps decades. You have put the idea of needing to move into Assisted Living in her mind. Give her time to mull it over. In the meantime, if you are in the habit of being at her beck and call for everything, step back from that as well. She will come to the realization that you have her best in mind by herself.

againx100 Mar 2020
They never want to leave their houses. Very common. BUT it is often high time for them to do so because they really can't handle their lives safely anymore.

Are you doing a lot for her now? Things that AL can do instead?

Not an easy convo, but maybe you have to tell her that you can not do the things that she needs done. You'll have to set some boundaries and stick to them to help her see that maybe she's not nearly as independent as she thinks she is.

Good luck.

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