Flowergirl, My Aunt can't figure out how to use the TV remote, but she loves her word puzzles! I think it's as normal as you can expect from dementia! For what it's worth, there really isn't a "normal " with dementia. Just as we are all unique in life, we are all unique in dementia! God bless!
Executive function is one of the first things lost to dementia. He can't look at something and see what needs to be done or how to plan action and how to do what needs to be done.
Detailed directions are helpful to someone with dementia, right now he can still read, so post what you want done with the individual steps required to achieve it. When he loses his reading you will have to give verbal instructions.
So very sorry that you are going through this awful disease.
Sometimes a man needs the company of another man. Is there a relative or a neighbor that could take him for a walk? Go for a drive? Or come over and do a little yard work with him? I had an uncle who would perk up when we brought the dog over to visit. He needs some stimulation.
It’s often said that you can’t really change others, you can only change yourself. My mother had dementia and it made her very stubborn. Your husband may have dug his heels in and the more you beg him to do things, the more determined he has become to not do the things you ask.
if the yard work is not getting done, either call a landscaper, hire a local teen or do it yourself. When my husband became disabled, I took over the yard work from cutting the lawn, trimming the bushes to weeding and edging. When I could no longer do it, we hired a landscaper. If your husband asks you why you’ve hired a landscaper, tell him the yard work needs to be done and leave it at that. As far as his woodworking, he may simply just be tired of his hobby. Try to help him find something else he might enjoy. Make sure you get out by yourself, too. If you give yourself a break, makes things easier to handle when you’re at home.
Doing the puzzles is actually a good way to exercise his mind. I’d encourage it.
By “active”, what do you mean? Did you socialize frequently, have a lot of friends, belong to clubs and groups together? If so, it’s quite possible your husband knows his mind is slipping and he may feel embarrassed when he cannot remember a face, a name or place or what he is trying to say. Offer him hints when this happened but don’t give him the answers unless you see he’s becoming quite upset. And don’t let it upset you. Encourage going for walks, maybe going to a park (“social distancing, of course). If he can safely be left alone, go out by yourself.
Thank you for your reply,Oh yes I do encourage him to do his puzzles If I didnt he would just stare at the walls. ;We just recently started going to senior club in our area and play bean bag baseball and we both like that plus we walk about 6 miles a week. He loves going for car rides as well. What Im having trouble with is getting him to do his chores or things men do. He used to piddle in his shop,make birdhouses. do woodworking on and on. Now I have to beg him to do anything that needs to be done. Edging,pulling weeds.
Yes, it's quite normal. Apathy is part of the disease. I saw the same thing with my father when he developed dementia. He was a retired machinist who used to "tinker" in his basement workshop. When he stopped doing that, I knew that he was not well. As someone else pointed out, executive function "goes" in this disease.
Dementia is a very sad condition. He may not be capable of doing things that require memory and concentration any more. It's time to start lining up people that you hire to do chores around the house. Your husband's condition may get worse, so be sure you have all of your paperwork in order to have POA, a will, medical directives, etc.
Think those word find puzzles seem to give comfort and occupation to those with mind dementia. My mother had multi-infarct dementia and loved those puzzle books. Also had Hospice client with unspecified dementia, who was very busy with her book of word puzzles! Guess those puzzles give them purposeful activity.
You could also ask him directly about why he doesn't do those things, and if he'd like help setting up some other things he might enjoy. Maybe he's not able to figure those things out any more and it frustrates him, so he sticks with something he knows--and something that nobody will know if he gets the answers wrong, or can't remember how to do it. Doing his other things might showcase his deficits. I've watched this happen with my FIL and my Uncle. It's sad.
It may be more a way of life instead of the dementia. Once you spend a day or two sitting, doing nothing, it's easier to do the same each day thereafter. See if you can give him some tasks to do each day - maybe make a list of things for him to accomplish. A walk in the morning might get the blood flowing and create a little more energy as well.
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My Aunt can't figure out how to use the TV remote, but she loves her word puzzles!
I think it's as normal as you can expect from dementia!
For what it's worth, there really isn't a "normal " with dementia.
Just as we are all unique in life, we are all unique in dementia!
God bless!
Detailed directions are helpful to someone with dementia, right now he can still read, so post what you want done with the individual steps required to achieve it. When he loses his reading you will have to give verbal instructions.
So very sorry that you are going through this awful disease.
Hugs!
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if the yard work is not getting done, either call a landscaper, hire a local teen or do it yourself. When my husband became disabled, I took over the yard work from cutting the lawn, trimming the bushes to weeding and edging. When I could no longer do it, we hired a landscaper. If your husband asks you why you’ve hired a landscaper, tell him the yard work needs to be done and leave it at that. As far as his woodworking, he may simply just be tired of his hobby. Try to help him find something else he might enjoy. Make sure you get out by yourself, too. If you give yourself a break, makes things easier to handle when you’re at home.
By “active”, what do you mean? Did you socialize frequently, have a lot of friends, belong to clubs and groups together? If so, it’s quite possible your husband knows his mind is slipping and he may feel embarrassed when he cannot remember a face, a name or place or what he is trying to say. Offer him hints when this happened but don’t give him the answers unless you see he’s becoming quite upset. And don’t let it upset you. Encourage going for walks, maybe going to a park (“social distancing, of course). If he can safely be left alone, go out by yourself.
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