We put mom in hospice at the recommendation of several of her doctors. 1 week later she was dead. Does hospice hasten death?

I put my mother on hospice. The next day she rallied. I felt terrible, took her off and told her what I'd done (I'm really honest and this is my one regret). A day later she could barely stay awake, her heart was failing. That same day or the next, I don't remember, she was crying out to me in pain. I saw her the next day, and knew it was near. I took my father on a "get her medicaid" project to distract him. It was over around 3:00. I'm the one who found her dead although hospice was there. I just happened to have perfect timing.

Hospice was incredible. I have no regrets about them. I do know the local staff gave her a dose of morphine that they should not have. They did it right after the rally. I don't know the consequences of that but based on what I know now it didn't matter. Her heart had been given an extra 7 to 10 years after a heart attack, they couldn't stent it, and it was over.

I don't know if this applies to you but I was never told how bad of shape she was in. I was still fighting for her in the final week. It took a 4th trip to the ER, where a doctor kind of laid it out, and a visit to her cardiologist, who I had to drag the information out of. The simple truth was, she needed a stent of a certain size that did not exist.

Sometimes, things aren't what they seem, because we don't get all the information.

As an aside, and something I've written before, but we've got to change medical information, it's sharing and our access. We need to know, really know, what's going on and it's too damn hard to get. Some of that is on HIPPA but a lot of that is on the medical community as a whole. It's hard to track my information in my 50's, it's gotten more complicated as more things have happened. Thank god for Apple Health because it at least gets my lab work. I have some idea of what my father has going on but even there he surprises me. It's just stupid that I have to wrench paper from a bunch of different sources. They need a standard and they need it now.

Thank you everyone! This was so difficult. Near the end my mom asked us "When will this be over." I think deep down she wanted to go. As a caregiver, I wanted her to stay a little longer.

Her Drs recommended Hospice because they knew she was actively dying. There is something called "rallying". My daughter, who is a nurse, saw it all the time working rehabs/NHs. The person can be near deaths door and all of a sudden they are sitting up, eating well, talking...then 2 days later they are gone.

Hospice did not hasten her death, they made it a more comfortable peaceful one. She had a lot wrong with her. "Terminal agitation" says it right there. Chemo, too, does a number on the body and I am surprised it was done with her heart condition. It was Moms time. Her body was shutting down. She lived till 87. A nice long life.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is very common to second guess everything that was done after a death. Please don't torture yourself.

Morphine makes it easier to breathe. It does not kill the patient when properly administered.

Palliative care (hospice is one type) has been shown to INCREASE life span. It makes people comfortable and, hopefully, allows them to have a more peaceful passing. You did the best thing for your mom. You made the best decision for her.

https://www.geripal.org/2010/08/palliative-care-prolongs-life.html

Hospice does not hasten death. It provides meds to ease any pain or discomfort. It provides assistance with specialized nurses or aides for the patient and for family members. At a certain point, any meds the patient were taking just aren't needed or able to be taken. Being officially on hospice may bring a different mind set for the patient that may allow them to accept a looming death.

My mom went on hospice. The hospice nurse told me, based on Mom's vital signs, that Mom could live for another six months. A month later, I put Mom to bed and she never woke up.

Please know death is not the worst that can happen. Oftentimes it brings relief to the patient. My condolences on your great loss. May sweet memories of your dear mother bring you peace.

I’m sorry for your loss. It sounds like your mother had so many issues going on, any of them could have made things change in a hurry. Hospice is designed to relieve pain, if I had all of those conditions racking my body I think I’d appreciate the pain relief and comfort. Please don’t feel guilty for providing this for your mother, I’m sure she felt your love and support. Her body was worn out. I hope the memories of good times will soon help you with the sadness