Was watching a movie with mom and my husband; should I worry?

Why move her in with you if you were never close? I really hope for your sake this isn't a permanent arrangement. It sounds like this is the early stage of a decade of hell.

My sister's skin is prone to tears at the age of 73. However, she deals with 2 debilitating diseases, lupus and polymyositis. Her dermatologist recommended she should wear protective sleeves (mentioned in an earlier answer)on her forearms to protect her skin.

Okay, if she’s really with it, the next time she mentions such bull, tell her laughingly, “ hey, it’s better than PTF therapy!” Seriously; she could live for another 10-15 years. Are you ready to go all the way with this arrangement? If not, now is the time to get her placed . Start looking into options; can she pay for senior living? Will she need Medicaid? Better to figure out financial arrangements sooner, rather than later.

Are you aware there are Protective Sleeves to help prevent skin tears? Hospice provided them for my mom, but they're easily found online.

You sound hurt. You sound as though you feel unappreciated.

One thing that seems to be universal among adult children who didn't get on with their parents? They seem to think that caring for them during their later years will in some way repair the relationship and cause the parent to say "oh, what a wonderful child you've ways been!".

That doesn't happen. What your relationship was like before will continue. Old age does not make parents grateful...add in dementia? Even more so.

Let her comment roll off your back for now but get a plan in place for her to age elsewhere.

You say “She should know how to help me help her. She did this stuff for a living. Maybe an assisted living place would be better.” That says a lot. First, it is much harder to direct people to care for oneself than to direct people to care for someone not related. There are many complicated dynamics in place.
More importantly, it sounds like there is tension with the current living situation. Caring for an elder parent can be extremely difficult and stressful. Especially if you and her were not close prior to now. Sounds like I t’s time to consider other living arrangements. Where did she live until she came to your home ? Does she have a home or apt ? If she is able to do her own bathing, dressing, and daily care she may do well on her own, or in senior independent living. If she needs help with ADLs, assisted living is needed. Evaluate what are her options, and move toward that plan. There is much info on this site about different levels of senior care. Or contact a local social worker or council of aging. Don’t sacrifice your own (+/or your family’s) health and happiness trying to please someone who can be petty and dramatic.

It was a little joke. I've heard much worse ones!

It's quite a common subject for gallows humour, actually; along with having gone too many rounds with Mike Tyson; and "you should see the other fella."

If you're really worried, document. Get a good body map, take copies, and keep notes of any bruises, contusions, spontaneous bleeds, pressure areas and what have you, with date and cause recorded.

Meanwhile... what are the next steps? Are you discussing plans with your mother for when she stops living with you?

I’m not certain what your question is here. Are you concerned that she was abused in the nursing home? If so, I’m not sure you’d have any recourse since time has passed. Or, are you concerned about caring for her because of the condition of her skin? My husband is on Eliquis and his skin is always a big concern of our’s because of the bleeding.
Or, are you on edge because now, bringing Mom to live with you doesn’t seem like it was such a good idea? Your husband could be right. We all say things that seem hilarious to us but fall flat with everyone else.

If Mom has all her mental capacity, you may want to have a calm conversation with her. She will turn petty and dramatic for sure, and threaten to move out but, stand your ground that her attitude is not acceptable in YOUR home. Tell her finding somewhere else for her to go is an option if her attitude doesn’t change. Cite specific occurrences like, “Remember that time Johnny came over and you weren’t very nice to him? Well, now he doesn’t want to come over. I miss him.” I had to do that with my mother. Her attempts at sarcastic humor weren’t appreciated by my family and I told her so. Your mom sounds like an intelligent woman and like my mom, if you are honest with her and don’t just let her behavior slide, she’ll change her tune.

As a retired nurse perhaps your mother's comments reflect an attitude similar to mine. Whenever I see those kinds of exposés rather than joining in the righteous indignation I tend to thank god there was never a camera present during my life's weaker moments - yes, there are habitual abusers but there are two sides to every story and very often the abuse, though terrible to see, is not quite as heinous as it appears to be. Rest assured that the court of law is much more even handed than the court of public opinion, even if you were called into question I assume a thorough investigation would judge you blameless.
I know that we caregivers are all amateurs trying our best but I have to ask if something you are doing incorrectly is causing all of these skin tears, although bruising is a common consequence of blood thinners tears should be preventable. Perhaps an occupational therapist could give you some guidance on ways to accomplish care tasks with an eye to reducing the risk of skin tears.

I would take it as humour. And skin tears are not a sign of abuse. My husband lifted my Moms legs up off an ottoman and his thumb tore her skin. It happens.

Hopefully when Mom is better, you can place her in a nice AL or take her home. Its not fair that you don't see ur own children because of her attitude. And I would tell her that when she is well enough to be on her own again. I think some people need a rude awakening about how their negativity and rudeness effects others. You may want to set boundries now before Mom gets too comfortable. Remember that ur an adult and need to be shown respect just like Mom expects it. And...its your home. Your kids should be able to feel they can come and go.

My dad is in his own home, also on blood thinners, and easily gets skin tears. My mother was in a nursing home for years and I don’t recall her ever having one. Some people are more prone to them. No one but your mother can know what she meant by her comment. It’s concerning that your children are avoiding your home because of the presence of a person you say you were never close to, it seems unwise to have her there for any length of time. It’s not worth making your home a place that’s hard for anyone, including you, to want to be. I hope you’ll find a plan that works better for all