Need advice from all my new trusted friends!

In a way it's great that she can still call the number. It may be best if you had that number forwarded to your number so that you'll know if any important calls come in, and you can screen the scam calls. "Grandmother" scams are very prevalent, so be careful about posing as somebody else. Also, it will be a way of knowing that she is OK if her calls come to you. Maybe you can pick up at times and talk to her.

If her calls give her comfort, please don’t deprive her of it.

My aunt “called home” for a few months after entering her AL. The messages were heartbreaking to us, her caregivers, but always seemed to end on an upbeat note, letting her sisters, brother, or mother know that she’d be coming home late, or staying at work, or going to a meeting.

If she’d been distressed rather than satisfied, I’d have stopped the phone service. I was very comfortable for her to have it though, while she needed it.

If her calls are not bothering you or others or a financial burden, it doesn't hurt anybody. The frequent calls may be a symptom that your aunt is lonely and does not have enough to do or enough social contact. Send her puzzles, find-a-words, sudoku, books, movies... Plan for more frequent phone calls and arrange phone visits with her friends. Social distancing should not mean social isolation.

Thid is such a terrifying time for many.

Add that to losing your home— and being thrown into a new, unfamiliar environment - and at a time when you are struggling to figure things out.

Alot of people in care facilities will die alone this year. It Is happening now, every hour.

Her life has spun out of her control. She must feel hopeless and sad, confused: like Dorothy mixed together with Alice in Wonderland.

it would be inhumane to disconnect the phone.

Calling her old phone # isn't hurting anyone.

Let her call her old phone # if that makes her happy.

Also, if you've already told her that her home was sold, no need to keep reminding her of that.

If it makes her happy and gives her hope that she still has a home, then let her think that as there is no harm and she should keep as many Happy Thoughts as she can.

If she is phoning it she's not getting an answer right? Or are you answering it when she phones? Do you have call display? Maybe just don't answer it when she phones? Or it's been a while since she's been there right? All her old friends should know by now? Maybe it's time to disconnect it. I think I would. Reality needs to set in for her if you want her to adjust to her situation so maybe it would be best.

Can you transfer it (porting the number) to a new cheap cell phone? Keep that and disconnect the home phone. Maybe you already did that if her home is sold.

Keep the cell phone:
1) To answer at your convenience.
2) To test her memory, see if she forgets.
3) Does she know who she is calling still? Or where?

The goal would be for the next 4 months to not have any changes that would upset or confuse her. If you answer it, ask her if she needs anything.

It sounds like keeping the phone is still somewhat useful to you (business and old friends.) That is one reason to keep it.

The second potential reason depends on how you perceive the messages she is leaving. You mention her son's voice is on the outgoing message and that she's forgotten what he did, so she still cares and/or worries about him. Are her messages just stating she will be home later, or does she sound upset or agitated? IF she is only leaving a simple message, mainly for the son, I would let the phone stay, at least for now. If it suddenly went away, she might end up more agitated and worried about him. She still understands leaving messages.

Is it possible to have someone, maybe your brother, call her back and pretend to be the son? Not every time, but once in a while, just to reassure her that "he is okay". I know it sounds deceptive, but a very brief call might be enough to soothe her. Be ready with a reason to cut the call short - such as break time is over, gotta run, love you, will talk later!

I would disconnect the phone.

Dementia steals memories, so you don't know what will cause a decline. Change does for some, some get a little brighter for a bit.

One thing is certain, just when you think it's all figured out, something will throw a curve ball in and you feel like you are starting over.

Best of luck dealing with the unknown of dementia. Hugs, it is difficult.

I think you should trust your instincts on this. If you feel that she needs to have something familiar then keep it. Is it bothering you to keep it? Would you be sorry if you disconnect it? Have you asked at the facility what they feel is best. They see her and may have some insight.