Well my dad has cancer and I guess you would say that the count down has begun. He's always been nasty to this family and just because he's dying he has to start down right nasty arguments that he knows he's just acting like a child like he always has. I love my family but they've all torn me down all my life and I can honestly say that I am proud to be such a caring and heart felt woman. I don't know where I could've possibly inherited it from. I guess it must've been God's greatest angel. We have to keep him on morphine every 8 hours so he's doped up and not starting fights and arguments. I make them breakfast evertime they ask. I will be at a friend's and my mom will call me to come all the way back to give him his meds. I just feel that he's been such a prune his whole life that I wonder if he's gonna end up somewhere in another dimension with fire. He has a big heart but he's just so selfish and just down right nasty. Well he was p.o'd because I left a little piece of egg in the frying pan and then proceeded to scream that I used his nasty dirty silverware that he would use for a freakn decade if I would let him. It's not mine or anyone else's fault that he's dying but he always has played the blame game. How in the world am I gonna deal with this man. He's terrible to the core?
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Why would you want that to stop?
Think about that.
I can't quite get over this line -
"... and just because he's dying he has to start down right nasty arguments that he knows he's just acting like a child..."
*Just* because he's dying?
What do you think is a good enough reason to cut a man some slack?
Your father has not been fun to live with or be brought up by. I do get that. That's a very good reason why you would find it impossible to give him the care he needs now.
But in that case, accept that it is impossible and stop trying to do it. Step away.
"I don't have a greedy or stingy or mean bone in my body"
This is your problem and Dad feeds off of it. Your too good. You are now an adult and as one deserve to be respected. Why did you have to leave a friends to give Dad his pills? Mom isn't capable of doing it? It seems to me Dad is. I think you are being taken advantage of here. I love this "you aren't enabling, you are disabling". (Another member posted that) Meaning have your parents do what they can do for themselves. And don't jump every time they ask you to do something. And ask yourself what are you getting out of this relationship. Are you still looking for that love Dad never gave you. Do you think he will change before he dies. Just because ur one of their children does not mean you owe them. Actually, a child abused in any way should not care for a parent.
If you don't have pill planners get them. Once a week fill them up. Put in a convenient place for Dad to get to with a glass of water.
What health problems does Mom have that keeps her from caring for Dad.
I'd laugh out loud about the piece of egg in the pan, and say 'You're so funny; I planned to eat that."
When he starts, walk out. He won't starve. He will find something to eat. And if he does get hungry enough, maybe he will be nicer to you.