Why do bladders fail in older people?

There are many, many reasons for bladder incontinence in the elderly. Is your mother diabetic, because that's one reason for it right there. Urge incontinence, also called overactive bladder, can be caused by strokes, dementia, Alzheimer's disease, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson's, or injuries. Conditions such as pelvic floor atrophy in women, prostate enlargement in men, or constipation in either sex can also lead to urge incontinence. Structural changes in the aging bladder and urethra may predispose the elderly to the development of urinary incontinence.

My mother has dementia and neuropathy (non diabetic) and has been urinary incontinent for about 4 years now (she's 93). It is what it is, and there is nothing much either one of us can do about it. She does not smell badly, for the most part, and frequent Depend changes is in order to prevent such a thing. Have you tried Medline Extrasorb disposable chuck pads? They are amazing and can absorb A LOT of urine while she's sleeping; then just throw them away. You can find them on Amazon. If she's having 'accidents' while in her recliner, and the urine is leaking out of the Depends.......then use one of the chucks in addition to a 'booster pad' for the brief. Again, frequent Depends changes and reminders to use the toilet should cut down on odors associated with incontinence.

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=diaper+doublers+for+adults&crid=1JO4XETBWJMOS&sprefix=diaper+doubler+for+a%2Caps%2C211&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_20

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=extrasorbs+es+350+medline+bed+pads&crid=1N492JNWWY6OP&sprefix=extras%2Caps%2C214&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_4_6

Every now and then, my mother does have fecal incontinence as well. Nothing gets better with old age, unfortunately, and especially when they're wheelchair bound (as my mother is, too) as their muscles weaken everywhere, leading to difficulties with everything. My mother lives in a Memory Care ALF and gets physical therapy, which she hates, but it does help her stay somewhat mobile and prevents muscle atrophy and even MORE difficulties than she already has. She's reached the point where her core strength is quite weak, and she's been sliding off of her wheelchair. PT is helping her with that as well.

Wishing you the best of luck moving forward.

Have u told the doctor the smell is sickening? Has she been checked for a UTI? If not, she should be.

There are all kinds of reasons for incontenance. With Mom being overweight it could be a reason. Having children can contribute to it. Maybe it would be good taking Mom to a Urologist.

I can’t tell you the medical why, hopefully someone else will, but I can say it’s incredibly common and something to make peace with. My dad spent a lot of time and money with a useless urologist trying to solve the issue. There were many meds, many tests (some of them cruel and probably bordering on malpractice) and it all came to nothing. Except of course multiple infections from the invasive tests. I’m not at all saying that is everyone’s experience. It was ours. One day the family practice doctor was listening to the experience at the urologist and said to my dad “at your age and with your medical history and conditions, your bladder is simply worn out, please make your peace with adult undergarments” It was actually a relief, my dad finally broke up with the urologist, and hasn’t had an infection since. He’s clean and dry in the adult undergarments. There are times of leakage, but it’s quickly fixable. And yes, there are bowel accidents also, just not as frequent.