How do I cope with the fact that mom is in a nursing home and I received news that her roommate is dying of coronavirus?

I'm sorry, too, that you and your mom are going through such a terrible ordeal. How do you know your mom's roommate has been running a fever for 3 weeks and is dying of the virus?? Did they just let you know there's an outbreak in the facility? That doesn't make much sense to me, really.........they should have had a better plan in place for such a situation, especially when 2 people share a room.


My mother is in a Memory Care ALF and if someone gets sick, they will be isolated (she has her own private room) and kept away from the other residents. Her doctor called me a few weeks ago to establish a care plan; what to do IF there is an outbreak at the MC. Did I want her to go to the hospital or stay in house with hospice to keep her comfortable? A care plan is vital, so get in touch with your mom's SNF and see what's going on.

Getting your mom tested now, since I assume what you're saying is she has no symptoms, may make sense since she has been exposed to a positive person for a very extended period of time. But again, you'll need a care plan moving forward in case she does test positive or contract the virus at some point.

I'd call the facility and demand some answers immediately. Wishing you the best of luck and here's a big HUG for you. Such a scary time and a bad situation.

I’m very sorry to hear this. I think is a lot of people with loved ones in LTCs worst nightmare! But I have to tell you, testing her wouldn’t make a difference. There is no cure for this horrible virus. All they can do is monitor her symptoms and start taking better precautions so that the virus doesn’t spread through out the facility. I don’t know why they didn’t move your mother, perhaps there was no other room available. And if she’d already been exposed to her roommate, moving in with someone else wasn’t a good solution either.

My mother’s roommate passed away this morning. NH decided to isolate my mother and start her on hydroxychloroquine. They also did a coronavirus test which we should know the results on Monday. Please pray for my mother and her nurses. I still believe it’s too late but God works miracles and I’m putting this in his hands. God bless us all in this difficult time. Thank you all for being here on this forum so I can get some comfort in venting my fears. Hope I can be here when you need the same comfort in whatever you are going through. Thank you!

I am sorry that you and your mom are going through this. I am afraid that other posters are correct it won't make any difference. I am terribly sorry.


Hugs!!

In this instance, I don't think HIPAA comes into the picture. They can inform family there is an outbreak, just can't say who it is. As said, this woman was exposing people before she started showing symptoms. As soon as she showed signs of a fever, she should have been tested, if positive, then quarantined. Your mother being in the same room should have been tested because she came in contact with a person who tested positive.

Call your local Health Dept. Tell them you don't feel guidelines are being observed. You want Mom tested. They should investigate. The dept should be essential personnel.

Update about my mom.
Mom’s coronavirus text came back
NEGATIVE!!! We are so blessed!!! GOD IS GREAT! She will be moved out of isolation today and will still be quarantined. Not sure yet if they are stopping the hydroxychloroquine.
We zoomed with her yesterday after this horrible week of not knowing. She looked good but seemed not quite herself but boy was it great to see her sweet face. We should know more by Monday in what happens now. I want to THANK each and everyone for their prayers. I’m praying every day for everyone to stay safe and well. We are still not over the hump yet but by the grace of God we will make it.

I'm afraid anything that is done now will be too little, too late - I'm so, so sorry. If your worst fears are realized do your best to ensure she gets cared for appropriately.

As I understand this virus, you are contagious before you run a fever. Your mom- and the workers who are caring for all the patients- were probably exposed well before the roommate ran a fever. I don't think you could have done anything to keep your mom from being exposed to the virus once it was in the home. I agree that they should have kept you informed.

There is no real point in testing her now. Even if she tests negative, she has definitely been exposed to it and would need to be kept away from the other patients for at least 14 days. I doubt the facility has enough private rooms to do that. And your mom might find that level of isolation very distressing.

All you can do is hope that if your mom develops symptoms, that she is among the large percentage of patients that will recover and hopefully have immunity.
You couldn't have done anything more than you have done to protect her. You have done everything you could.

HIPAA absolutely comes in to play here. The facility can notify residents that someone has the virus but they cannot identity WHO has it. Contrary to what many in this country think, this virus doesn’t negate the law. There’s no provision in HIPAA or the constitution that says that says the law doesn’t apply when COVID-19 is involved. The facility absolutely has to follow HIPAA.

It’s been almost 2 months since I told all of you that my mom was in a nursing home and her roommate was dying of covid. The roommate did pass and they isolated my mother and tested her for the virus and it came back negative. She then started to run a fever and they told us she might have a UTI. Test results showed she did but she was not eating and they said she seemed depressed. Few days later they called and said they were sending her to the ER because she coded. ER started her heart again. Still not eating so started nutrition in her IV did lots of testing and results showed a heart attack and several mini strokes. 2 weeks later no eating or drinking,suggested feeding tubes. Family voted no tubes. Sent her back to nursing home and was there for less than a week and then they said she was not recovering and there was nothing left to do. I and my siblings decided we didn’t want her to pass there alone so we called in Hospice. She was placed there on Monday the 25 and my sweet sweet mother passed on Saturday May 30th. Only 2 siblings were aloud in to be with her at one time. I and my sister which is next in line under me were blessed to be holding her as Jesus called her home at 11:50. Hardest thing to do listening to her heartbeat fade and then stop as she was still warm and cozy feeling. I can’t tell you the hurt I felt,I could barely breathe. She was there for my first breath and I was there for her last. We were very blessed to be with her at that time. I know I’ll take comfort in knowing I was with her at that time but for now I can’t. The heartbreak is unbearable and I’m praying every day for God to see me and my family through this. Time will heal but I’ll hurt forever. My mother was the sweetest person,never met a stranger and would take you into her heart and love you no matter who you were. Always worried about someone being hungry and invited everyone to her table. I know I’ll be with her again because I’m going to try to be the person she was even more now. I know she is with Jesus and my father and the 16 siblings she had that went before her. She was the baby in her family and the last to leave this world. I will thank God every day for blessing me with a mother like her. As of now we don’t know the cause of death but believe it was the heart attack and strokes. Maybe even covid because we believe she kept getting a false/negative result from the covid test. She had all the signs. Only God knows the real reason. Thank you for this forum and being here so I could get this all out. I’ll be praying for very one and their loved ones.
God bless you all.