I can't get my mother to go to the doctor about a lesion on her chest that won't heal. She has isolated herself 20 years. Any suggestions?

I would say walk away. If you live with her, move out. Don't do ANYTHING for her, shove all of that onto your son if he is on the checking account. If has says you have to do these things for her, tell her that it's not your responsibility but hers and walk away. Let her make those bad decisions, let her fail, if she ends up in the hospital, let her know that you won't be responsible for her care and not to bother you about it.

I agree with our two very intelligent posters. If she doesn’t want treatment, there isn’t much you can do. We, as their children, just want to make it right. But sometimes we can’t. When my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was 82, she wanted every organ in her body that might be susceptible to cancer removed. Um. Ok. When she had the mastectomy, she was flaming pissed. Threw the pillows, tea, prayer shawl and anything else she was gifted in my face.

Point is, just let her be. Abide by her wishes. It’s not easy, but in the long run, it’s ok.

I agree with all that Daughterof1930 says.

I have one additional suggestion. Call a local Hospice organization. If she wants no treatment, she may well qualify; otherwise, they may have some good suggestions for Palliative Care.

Since she won’t see a doctor without a fight, do you think she’d be determined if there was an exam to be mentally competent or not? The bar for competence is pretty low, if she can make basic decisions and isn’t a danger to herself then she would likely be found to be of sound mind. If this is the case then you can’t force anything, her lack of medical care is her own decision, her money is hers to do with as she pleases, her bad decisions are hers to make.
The question then becomes what you need to do. No one deserves abuse, no matter the circumstance. If this is her home, you need to live elsewhere. Leave her to this mess she’s created, don’t take abuse, just because she’s your mother doesn’t mean you need to take it. At the least, stop arguing with her and keep your distance. The only one capable of change here is you