I cannot convince my mother in law to change her Depends when saturated. She prefers to add a Kotex pad. Suggestions?

Look into the ABri-Form adult diapers, they may have pull-ups.. or some kind of pad... It is probably too embarrassing now for MIL... Is there anything medically wrong that she leaks? My neighbor just had a "mesh" put in and to prevent UTI's. This is a subject I really don't start or talk to her about... But I think it was an outpatient surgery, a few years ago...

Last year I got advice from a Continence Nurse & OT regarding that sort of difficulty - not being able to change pull-ups, inc manage shoes & clothing also. As CM says, it's quite a process.

Two options were suggested.
1. Depends with incontinence booster pad. When booster wet, remove & replace new booster. The depends (or pull-ups) catch any overflow. But quite bulky!

2. Net stretch pants (are unisex men's trunks style) that holds a maxi pad in place. Net pants can often stay all day - just change pads. Less bulky but pad has to be positioned well.

My relative trialled but said the booster was too bulky & couldn't position maxi pad well enough on own. So returned to overflowing pull-ups & leaving damp chairs.

Supervision with toileting was recommended in that case due to combination of cognitive & mobility issues.

From observations, I would guess that the reason for this is the added "difficulty" (it's not difficult, it's just a faff) of removing and disposing of the used Depend, plus whatever clothing adjustment is required. Much easier just to stick a stopgap in there!

So: go through the process, mentally. What *exactly* does your MIL have to do to change her underwear, and how can you make it easier, simpler - just the obviously better thing to do!

Another concern would be a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI). UTI’s can wreck havoc on a dementia patient. I know, my wife just got over one. The “sweetest woman in the world” knocked down another resident at her facility, called me then argued that it wasn’t me and hung up the phone, made racial slurs against her caregivers and thought people were going to kill her. It was an UGLY seven or eight days!

You could try being “all out” of the Kotex pads until you get her to the next stage.
Just take them out of her sight.
They are also “all out” at the store. The virus you know.
Could be those folks using them for masks taking them all. 😷
But look, we have plenty of Depends.

Sounds like dementia is involved. If so, there's no arguing with it, or convincing them of anything, really. If dementia is not involved, then adding a Kotex pad to a saturated brief makes no sense, unless she's trying to save money by using less Depends......? The whole situation would be terribly uncomfortable, when you think about it.........adding a pad that's going to get heavy, to a brief that's ALREADY heavy.........nasty! You may need to put your foot down, especially if there is an odor involved, or if she's beginning to get chafing or a rash, which would be the likely consequence of her actions here. If she goes down the rash highway, it can be murderous to treat it and get rid of it.

If she wants to live with you, assuming she does, then she will have to follow some of your rules, which include regular brief changes so you can avoid dire consequences. If you're dealing with dementia, then get her on a regular bathroom schedule of asking her every 2 hours and checking her for wetness. As soon as she's wet, she's changed, period.

Your house, your rules, right? She'll come around.

Good luck!