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friedsam20 Asked April 2020

My mom is currently taking care of my 92 year old grandmother and my mother is 73. She can not do it anymore. Where do I start?

Money is low.

BarbBrooklyn Apr 2020
Excellent advice from Geaton!

Every county in the US has an Area Agency on Aging. Call them and ask how you go about getting a "needs assessment" and getting grandma case management services.

Geaton777 Apr 2020
friedsam, many on this forum have been in your shoes. Before you start, you need to decide where you're going. So, questions for your mom and grandmom:
- who is the durable PoA?
- if she doesn't have one, is she willing (and able) to make YOU the PoA? Are you wiling to do it? (The PoA should be significantly younger than the designator.)
- what is grandma's financial condition? If she's only living on SS, this is important to know, as well as whether she owns any assets. This determines where she can live and what services she can afford on her own.
- Next, your grandmother's realistic desires need to dovetail into what is actually doable. If she wishes to stay in a home, this needs to be something that works for the family caregiver on every level: emotionally, physically, financially. If your grandma is ill or mostly immobile or she has progressing dementia, she will most likely benefit from transitioning into a care facility. Many of her generation dread this thought as the NHs of the old days were pretty bad, but the new ones are very different. If possible she should be taken on a tour of reputable local facilities to consider. This is the point at which you will need to figure out if she can private pay and if so, for how long. Make sure you only consider facilities that accept Medicaid residents.

If you get this far you have gotten a good start! Then come back to the forum for more advice and wisdom.

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