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carolekatz Asked April 2020

My husband has Parkinson's and dementia, HELP!

He's now incontinent. Sometimes pees on floor. Now he's spitting on floor. I gave him tissues. Paper towels. No help. HELP

againx100 Apr 2020
So sorry that your husband is in such bad shape. Agree with everything JoAnn29 said.

It's time to look into either getting LOTS of help in the house OR putting him in to a facility that can deal with his behaviors. Things are not going to improve. This is too much for you to deal with. It's so much work.

No one wants to go into a nursing home BUT no one expects to deteriorate to the level of peeing and spitting on the floor either.

Please, take care of yourself too.

JoAnn29 Apr 2020
Hopefully you have him wearing depends. Really nothing you can do about his actions. He doesn't understand that he is doing something wrong. He is like a toddler only he can't be taught.

It maybe time to place him in LTC. You would become the Community Spouse and your assets will be split so you can pay ur bills. With a friends parents, there were SS checks and pensions. They owned their home and a car. As the Community Spouse Mrs. R remained in the house and got the car. The 60k they had in savings was split 30k for her 30k for him. His half had to be spent down to the cap allowed which in my state is 2k. Then Medicaid took over. Not sure how the SS and pensions were split, but Mrs. R was given enough to pay her bills and at the time of her death, still had the 30k.

Your husband is only going to worsen. Are you capable of lifting him, helping with showers, ect? Your health and sanity are important too.

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