Is it wrong or illegal to leave my mother by herself for over 3 hours when she can't put weight on her right foot due to a fracture?
She fell on her ankle in February , got a fracture and was told not to put any weight on it. Or be left alone incase she fell. Then she developed a blister on it and then came the boot and no moving around.
Unless you are going to sit with your mom while your brother is out, then it is between the two of them and her doctor.
Call and offer to stay. Don’t wait until you are asked. It can be difficult to have to ask for help. If you are concerned then offer on a regular basis to help.
Your brother may welcome the help if you show genuine compassion and gratitude and respect for him as her caregiver. Your mom would most likely enjoy your company and appreciate your concern for all involved.
Without details I don’t know what your situation is. I could be wrong about the whole thing if things are complicated. I realize family dynamics can become complicated. Most of us have been through tough times.
My brother thinks I'm trying to take my mom from him. It goes back to my grandma and he is very childish and jealous. But you are right, my mom is grown and if she chooses to go against doctors orders and if anything happens then I know it wasn't because I didn't try to help and be there. It goes back as far as my brothers wife doesn't like me and we got in an argument and when I went to leave she got up and grabbed me and tried to hold me from leaving. I kept telling my brother to get her to let me go and I did not raise my hands at all knowing my place. When she did let me go I left so nothing else would happen. I had marks and bruises on me. So, now they are acting like I'm the bad guy. So this is what I mean by sibling issues. And all I am worried about is my mother's health and care during all this. But now thru all your convo I am going to just step away.
The SIL had no right putting her hands on you and causing bruising. She could get arrested if reported. I would warn her if it happens again you will press charges. Brother should have stepped in and act like a man!
Who told you she wasn't to be left alone? What was the reason? Maybe mom or bro are trying to manipulate you? If mom is competent why did you move to be closer to her and to help out? What is being left out of this story?
How is he being selfish and childish?
When you drove by with no cars there, did you stop in to visit mom?
if she’s in her right mind then she’s responsible for herself. She’s a grown adult. Your brother isn’t doing anything wrong leaving her there. She can make her own decisions. If she needs help, she needs to arrange it either by reaching out to her children and asking for help or by hiring someone herself.
I am available anytime but because he is being selfish and childish as siblings do he did not tell me he was doing this. I was only aware of Wednesday to come and stay with her while he and his wife are at work. I only had a funny feeling that she wasn't being honest with me or he wasn't either so I drove by the home and saw no vehicle there.
Is somebody being paid by contract to stay with Mother 24/7? It sounds like someone needs to be hired for those 3 hours if no one else is able to be there during that time.
She was told by the orthopedic doctor not to put any weight on it or to be left alone. But is being left alone for over 3 hours and I wasn't aware of this. I was trying to find out what my options are. I was afraid for her safety and wanted to know the law before I confronted my brother. Thank you
There is no law per se, but you could have APS do a welfare check. Is your brother being compensated to be with her during that time? Who is POA? If brother, he may want to hire someone to be with her when he cannot.
FloridaDD asks the key question: is your mother mentally competent?
As long as she is, then her mobility is her problem to solve - for example by using mobility aides or hiring services - and it is no way illegal to leave her by herself.
If she isn't mentally competent, and she is physically at risk because she can't follow the directions to keep weight off her foot, or tries to remove her boot, then it becomes a different question.
Who is scapegoating you, if you don't mind my asking? And what about?
12 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
Call and offer to stay. Don’t wait until you are asked. It can be difficult to have to ask for help. If you are concerned then offer on a regular basis to help.
Your brother may welcome the help if you show genuine compassion and gratitude and respect for him as her caregiver. Your mom would most likely enjoy your company and appreciate your concern for all involved.
Without details I don’t know what your situation is. I could be wrong about the whole thing if things are complicated. I realize family dynamics can become complicated. Most of us have been through tough times.
The doctor's advice in February would be different than today.
ADVERTISEMENT
How is he being selfish and childish?
When you drove by with no cars there, did you stop in to visit mom?
If she is ignoring the doctor's orders, it is not for you to tell your brother he is doing something wrong.
As long as she is, then her mobility is her problem to solve - for example by using mobility aides or hiring services - and it is no way illegal to leave her by herself.
If she isn't mentally competent, and she is physically at risk because she can't follow the directions to keep weight off her foot, or tries to remove her boot, then it becomes a different question.
Who is scapegoating you, if you don't mind my asking? And what about?