If mom gets kicked out, can I refuse to house her?

I totally agree with others. Set boundaries. Don’t allow her to move in. She has a place to live. It’s her fault if she screws that up.

How often does she call? I hope she isn’t calling you often. It is draining to deal with a situation like this. Put a stop to it and enjoy your life with your husband.

If she was sorry for mistreating you and wanted to make amends, that would be a different story. Then you could decide if you wanted a reconciliation but you seem to already know that you don’t want a relationship with her.

Be at peace and best wishes to you and your husband.

Your therapy should have taught u boundries too. If not, start setting them now. Do not allow her even one night in your house. If you need to, pay for a cheap hotel room for her. She can go to Social Services and they should find a temporary place for her to stay. When she calls, you can say "Mom, I am not listening to this" and hang up. You can block her calls. I have mine set for contacts only, all other calls go to my VM.

Your life now is your husband and maybe a future family. You can help Mom without taking on the responsibility. If the retirement community calls you, tell them you are not in the position to help Mom. They will need to call APS and tell them she is a vulnerable adult. If APS calls u, again you tell them you are not in the position to help Mom.

Since Mom is a stroke victim, I wonder if there is some problem mentally. Why would a 62 yr old not understand restrictions otherwise.

The best thing for you would be to allow County agencies to deal with Mom. If there is some mental problem, they may become her guardian. This way she would get help she needs faster than u could.

The Community would have to evict her, which takes awhile. In the meantime, Mom can find a place to live. There are agencies who can help her. Just keep saying NO. Don't let anyone tell you she is your responsibility. Claim abuse as a reason u can not help her.

Yes, you can refuse. If you ever agree to let her live with you, you will likely regret it.

Also, you are under no obligation to accept her abusive telephone calls. Unless you learn to stand up for yourself and establish healthy boundaries with your mother, she will continue to mistreat you.

I don't think any state requires an adult to care for another competent adult-no matter what the relationship is. I think you just need to steel yourself to say "No, Mom, that won't work for me" if she comes knocking.

She's only 62. Lots of people are still working at 62. She'll figure something out.

Say no. You are not responsible, and once you ACCEPT responsibility it will become more difficult. No one should agree to collect her; they cannot discharge her unsafely and would have to go through social services and get a guardian appointed by the courts. Do know that once that happens she is a ward of the state and where she is put, her health care choices, etc are not in your hands at all but in the hands of the state.