Toxic parents I cut off are sending family members to contact me. Any advice?

Zki, I'm going to guess that what is upsetting you is the fact that Joann suggested seeing a mental health professional.

I was quite old when I found out that it's not crazy people who seek therapy. It's the people who live with the crazy people who seek therapy to grow and to mitigate the damage and toxic side effects of having grown up in an abusive environment or been in an abusive relationship.

Have you actually spoken to them, or are you interpreting how they feel about you from their messages?

I would let their messages go unanswered if you are comfortable with your decision to walk away.

Don't get sucked back in. Some people just seem to need to start drama to distract themselves from the emptiness of their lives. You got out.

Stay out!

Zki,

You have posted 4x since March 2. Pretty much the same thing everytime with a number of responses. Probably some from people who have been in your shoes. No problem in "venting". We welcome it. Sometimes it helps to just write what you feel down. But for you its been two months. In posts you say 5 siblings have walked away. They walked away for a very good reason. You have to ask yourself why is it so hard for you? Are your hoping that Mom will change and say "I love you". It won't happen. Your Mom probably doesn't know how to love. And it doesn't seem that the knowledge that she is dying has made her look at herself. If you believe in Heaven, then she is going to meet her maker and have to justify her choices in life. Let the stepsisters take care of their father and in turn your Mom. Seems he didn't mistreat them or they wouldn't be involved.

In all your posts you say the word "vulnerable". Well weren't you too when they beat you. What goes around comes around and this is their "come around". You need to find out why ur other siblings found it easy to walk away and not look back and you seem not to be able to do it.
Call the SW who told you it was OK to walk away. Ask if she can put you in touch with a therapist to help you work thru this. There are clinics that charge on scale. Maybe even ur health insurance will help with the cost.

Keep coming back and tell us how you are doing. You may help someone else in the same boat..

Ya know how fish don't get caught? They don't take the bait.
Be like the fish that doesn't get caught.
If you are in contact with the Hospice Social Worker you can get information from her/him and that can be the "go between" for you and your mom. Make sure she has your contact information. If the Hospice has an app like the one I used with my Husband, they had a program called TapCloud and you can get and give information in a secure way but you could check on how mom is doing and not have contact with the rest of the family.

Zki,
Are you going to allow a few texts and phone calls knock you off
a very wise, well thought out path, you chose for yourself to be healthy and survive?

Keep walking strong.

I would return one call from them and give them the opportunity to inform you of something, but if they start asking you questions give them very vague answers like, "Everything's fine, thank you for asking" and just keep repeating that. Wish them well and maybe take the opportunity to clarify when you do wish to be contacted, such as if the parents are interested in apologizing to you or to be notified of a death in the family. Request only detailed voicemail. Or don't even go down that path. Who cares if they think you're the "flakey" one? Put up (and keep up!) boundaries. Stop caring what other people think of you, as this will wind up ruling your thoughts and behaviors and is destructive. I wish you peace in your heart as you move on with your life to find joy!

I am so sorry you are going through this. I am going through the same thing with my family right now. I had to make a choice, my health and sanity over caring what people thought about me. I was the hardest thing I ever had to do but I came back home, started therapy twice a week and worked through my issues. I'm still a work in progress but I learned I am not the bad person for walking away and saving myself. It's called self love and there is nothing absolutely nothing wrong with that. Save yourself. Your family will just have to deal with their issues and come to some kind of peace on their own. I truly believe when people pass they get to review their life here on earth and understand how they made people feel while they were here on earth. Good, bad, happy or sad they will see it all. Then and only then will they realize the depth of their damage. We cannot make people see what they refuse to see. Praying for you as I know your pain all to well. God bless.

I guess no one is reading previous posts. OP was beaten by her parents and kicked out. Now they want her to care for them. We all know that an abused child should NEVER take care of the abuser.

Zki, is your only phone a cell? If so block ur Ssisters. You will never know if they called or not. Same with emails and Facebook. BLOCK THEM
If its a landline, if your phone doesn't block, there are some out there now that do.

Let the stepsisters do for them. You have walked away for a very good reason. You will never change your Mom at this point. For yourself, forgive her and move on. Please, don't get drawn back in. I would not answer texts or even call them once.

If you live in the same town, I may consider moving. If you do, don't leave a forwarding address. Not even with the PO. When I changed Moms address to mine, all the junk mail followed because they were able to get Moms new address. PO told me it was the utility people. I called them and they said it was not them.

Zki, who do you think is being rude? We are trying to support you.

I did not mean to be rude and I am sorry if I came across that way. I just feel that maybe you need some one on one with a professional to help you get to the root of why you feel you need to help these abusive people.

You are not just your mother's child you are a person with feelings. You deserve respect. You need tools that you can help u when dealing with people like ur mother. We can be sympathetic and give suggestions but you have to learn to stand up for yourself. You have years of abuse u have to work thru. A trained therapist can help you work thru this.