Can my sister legally keep me from my father? She has POA, he's in assist living. We had a falling out, now this is how she spites me.

My opinion no. She doesn't have that power unless you are disrupted around him or cause him to be agitated. If he is competent to make his own decisions, then she absolutely not keep you away. She is abipusing her POA. Her decisions need to be based on Dads wishes.

Since this kind of thing seems to happen all the time, I think it should be written in the POA. "No child will be kept from seeing me unless its found their presence in some way causes me stress. And this needs to be confirmed by a qualified staff member or my PCP" or something along those lines.

Hi Jeroen, family discord is very distressing and I'm sorry for your troubles in this situation. If you know your father doesn't have dementia and has never been formally diagnosed with dementia, AND he does in fact desire your contact, then I think you would have a very strong legal case to gain access to your father for visits. But as long as your sister stays his sole PoA, there may always be struggles in this arena.

Your only other legal recourse is to go to court for guardianship of your father. You must prove that he is incapacitated and that your sister is somehow abusing her duties as PoA. You must have the time and money to do this, and a strong case. FYI if a judge believes the family fighting from both parties is detrimental to your father, the court may decide that the county would be the best actor for your father's best interests and will assign guardianship to the county -- and then neither of you will be PoA or guardian.

You may want to strike a deal with your sister: she can be with you on a visit. This will get you in to see him and she will know what transpires during the visit. A sort of win-win. You may want to ask her in writing (like text or email) so you have proof you asked and proof of her answer. But right now, no one is being let in to see their LOs in NHs because of the very real danger of the Covid-19 virus. They may be in quarantine for many months to come.

I'm sorry but there really aren't any other legal pathways you can take. I wish you peace in your heart as you decide what to do.

My cousin was POA for his mother, sister and brother had a falling out. He put restrictions on her and the nursing home had to comply. For the sake of her mother , she chose not fight with brother. She went to see her mother most days, kind to staff and eventually everything worked out just fine. Sister seems to be on a power trip. Very poor and unreasonable to keep you from talking to your dad. I had some disagreements with other siblings a few years ago, and would never keep them from calling or seeing her. I really do not know what you can do, maybe other caregivers on this site will have more advice. So sorry what your sister is doing. Wishing you the best.