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Rose21 Asked May 2020

My neighbor has dementia and hoarding and is keeping me awake all night. Any suggestions?

She has hoarded herself out of much of the bungalow, and lives and sleeps in the one room, the bedroom wall which adjoins mine. I have had mice in my home due to the state of her property. She sleeps all day and gets up at around 9pm at night rummaging around her hoard, moving things, things crashing and banging to the floor, and then she goes to bed around 9 - 12pm the next day. Her curtains are closed 24/7. She doesn't wash, and she doesn't eat very much she is thin, frail and dirty, and the stench of dogs feces, urine and rotting debris from her property is putrid. When her family does come round they take her out, they do not spend much time in there at all, and leave her dogs locked in the small dark hall for hours, sometimes days and they suffer separation anxiety, and so constantly howl.


I spoke to the family numerous times but they ignored me and ended up changing their telephone numbers. After 18 months I went to my Landlord, social services and the Alzheimer's society. This was when her 50 year old cannabis smoking son came to stay, which then added another problem, my home stinks of cannabis most of the time. The noise recorder went in and she was served a Community Protection Notice, which has already been breached, social services were trying to gain access but the son wasn't allowing her to open the door. Then 5 months later came the lockdown due to Covid-19. I am at the end of my tether, the son is going out most of the afternoon, and returning to the bungalow at night, then sits up all night with his mother while she makes noise all night, but doing nothing to stop her. My bed has been in my living room for 13 months now as it is the furthest room in the bungalow from the adjoining wall. However, the noise she makes is loud, climbing and waded over stuff and slamming the internal doors, it is a compulsive sound, a behaviour she cannot control, she also gets nasty, and has been abusive to me, and she has threatened to attack her son with a knife. I frequently hear her on her mobile phone in the garden accusing family members of stealing money or money going missing from her account, she also thinks people are stealing things from her home and garden. She has already been verbally abusive towards one of my neighbours (this was before I moved here), for which the police were called, as she believed her husband had moved in with her, even though her husband left 10 years ago due to the hoarding. I often see black smoke coming out of the kitchen window during the early hours of the morning, where she has forgotten what she is doing and has gone on to something else. Despite all this social services and my Landlord will not breach the lockdown to take action, even though her own family are not adhering to the lockdown, neither are they safeguarding my neighbour. As a result of lack of sleep, I am sinking into a depression, my asthma is affected by the constant stench of cannabis and I'm at the end of my tether.

pamzimmrrt May 2020
The next time the black smoke rolls out of the windows call the fire department. Their arrival may be the wake up call her family and your landlord need. And if they see the conditions there I believe they have to report it as a safety hazard. Can you call animal control about the howling dogs? They are surely better off in another home.

lealonnie1 May 2020
The woman is obviously suffering from dementia and hoarding is sometimes associated with dementia. She may have been hoarding long before dementia set in, which is an anxiety disorder in general. If pot is illegal where you live, you can call the police to report the usage of it. But I agree with the others who suggest you move out and break the lease. The landlord is being negligent by allowing all of this nonsense to go on, at YOUR expense, and doing nothing to mitigate the problem. But that is neither here nor there, really, because YOU are the one who's paying the price.

Tell your landlord you want free rent until you find a new place or you are reporting him and her to the Department of Health for code violations. I take it you are in England since you reference a "Community Protection Notice". So I don't know if you have a Dept of Health, but whatever is the equivalent, you can contact them. As well as the ASPCA for the unsafe treatment of animals. Your landlord owes you SOMETHING here.........either a safe and peaceful environment in which to live or free rent while you find other accommodations. Just my opinion.

Personally, I'd move if it were me because there is just TOO MUCH going on here for you to be able to fix. You've tried, to no avail, to get help and you're not. So move on, my friend. That's the best you can do for yourself. Good luck!

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SFdaughter May 2020
I hate to say this, but you'll probably get the strongest, fastest response from Animal Control. If you can't get the woman out of there for her own safety or due to the damage and infestation, maybe having her dog(s) taken away would work. Hoarding and rodents should be more than enough for Adult Protective Services to pull her out of there, whether she's been diagnosed with dementia or not.

JoAnn29 May 2020
Call the police about the noise after 10. Call Adult Protection Services. If they do nothing call the health dept saying because of her house, you are getting mice. This is now a health problem. The landlord can evict her. If she is on HUDD her son cannot live there. Maybe that is why he is gone all day. Sneaking back when no one will see him.

caregiving2long May 2020
Call your towns city hall and ask where do you report a horder that is putting her and your safety in danger. Then call Adult Protective Services and report an elderly person who is hording and you think mentally ill/because what you arw discribing sounda like it and ask them to so a check on her. And call rhe sheriff department and ask them to do a well check for these reasons as well.

Ask all these departments if they have any suggestions on who else you can call to help this person...and in turn it is going to help you. She will most lilely be removed from there and placed in a facility that can help her and take care of her because it sounds like she isn't capable of doing that for herself any more. And hording IS putting you in danger...can cause Fire and Rodents.

So don't feel bad reporting her to authorities that can Help her. You can't help her by yourself and hiring a lawyer isn't going to do anything but rack up a bill for you. A lawyer isn't going to be able to do anything...this problem needs Medical attention.

Goody2shoes May 2020
What is the matter with your land lord? She is a danger to herself and others. She could burn the house down. Your place has become unliveable. You could stop paying rent until he deals with the situation. He has the right to evict her. Adult protective services, animal abuse agencies are probably best for quick action. I watch the show "Hoarders" on tv and situations like this are more common than I would have thought. Very sad. I would not confront the people directly. You would be helping her by reporting. There are building code violations in there for sure and the landlord could be fined. I can't believe he has let this go on for so long. He has a lot to lose.

Tothill May 2020
You do not mention one of your options.

Move.

You have tried for months to have this situation resolved and if anything it has gotten worse.

If you are in a lease it should be easy to break the lease.

Susanhaywood May 2020
For just a moment, take a step back, and view yourself not as the victiim, but as a concerned neighbor. Your neighbor, poor thing, is the true victim. She has absolutely zero control over what she's doing.

Instead of calling authorities to complain, call to report a life threatening situation with an elderly neighbor. I think you will get much further in your search for help for the poor woman, than if you make yourself out to be the victim.

My humble opinion only.

Best of luck to you both.
Dianed58 May 2020
Great reframe of the problem! - it may work
Grandma1954 May 2020
You could call APS and ask for a well being check.
You could call the police when you hear banging that late. Noise that late is a disturbance and the police can deal with it.
You could also call the village or county and talk to someone in the Health Department or Code Enforcement both have regulations on hoarding and if it is bringing in rodent infestations that is a health concern for you as well as your neighbor.
Oh, next time you see smoke...call the Fire Department. Because the next time it might be a fire they have to deal with. And do this every time you see smoke.

quiltinrealtor May 2020
You need to move as soon as you can. She will cause mold problems and all kinds of vermin and bug problems with her hording. It will affect your health. Call the board of health if you have to break you lease to move. It will give you a reason to break your lease. I have seen this in condos, where one persons mold problem is making a neighbor sick, and the neighbor has no knowledge of the problem below or beside him.

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