Parents want to leave assisted living during pandemic. Any advice?

I bet they do! Maybe just acknowledging their 'caged in ' feeling by talking to them would help. Explain that ALL of us are taking precautions and not living our lives to the fullest right now--that you understand.

My mother may be living at home with my brother's family, but she as lonely as she can be. She just wants to get out a couple days a week and play Bingo. I found that simply agreeing with her about how much this all stinks and playing along with her helps.

Shoot, I am going stir crazy and I can get in my car and drive all day long if I want. It's more the overarching knowledge that you're not 'free'. plus, the fear that keeps coming at us in waves--not mentally healthy.

I learned the hard way, we can WANT whatever we want, but in the end, we really have very little control. Esp those who are aging in facilities--they're stuck two ways--even if they wanted, they can't leave--they are in a NH for a reason.

Also, nothing to say that if you pulled them out of their current situation means when things return to our new normal--you probably couldn't get them in the same facility again. You want to deal with that?

My biggest mistake was to put my wife whom has Lowie body  she got the virus and is now dyeing and is in hospice. I will never forgive my self for putting he in the Bristol  assisted living. I have been married 54 years and am heart broken. Please don't put  your love ones in assisted living homes until  the legislate and governors  passes laws to protect these poor human being.

We must speak out  now and not let more of our wife's, husband's, family member die in these homes
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Where do they plan on going?
You might want to ask them this question. And talk out the logistics of the plan. Is your dad aware of the full impact of what is happening?
They may not grasp the fact that no matter where they go they will feel "trapped"

If he says that they want to come stay with you..explain that that would not be possible and why.
Is it possible that your dad is developing some dementia as well and he does not fully understand the why they are "trapped"?

My answer won’t be popular but I’d get them out. Plain and simple. Yes it may not be optimum but I’d hope my son would do the same for me. This pandemic is particularly brutal in NHs and ALs. It’s horrible; seniors have every right to be scared. That being said, I would not give up their spot - just get them out for a visit till the state has an all clear notice which hopefully is soon.

As a care coordinator at an eldercare law firm, let me say that I have no answer to this dilemma. At the outset of this pandemic, I was all in favor of keeping residents where they were in the facilities--where our people were comfortable, where they have an established day-to-day, where they feel at home, where they were well cared-for. The only exception in my mind was that of a woman who had moved into assisted living with her husband at the end of January, and her husband then died two weeks later. She had not had time to make a good adjustment, and her daughter took her into her home from the beginning of Covid. I felt this was a very good decision. The daughter is very capable, and dedicated, and she has a workable living space for an older person.
The other of our clients have stayed in their facilities. At this writing, there are Covid cases at every single facility we have people. We have had six client deaths accredited to Covid. Currently we have 8 whose health is very compromised, not all because of Covid. We have had five people asymptomatic with Covid, but believe me, it is hard to figure who will go down with it, and who will remain standing. There seems to be no rules.
The losses has been devastating to us, to say the least.
If I had a parent at a facility, I would seriously consider taking them home. That being said, this would be a massive undertaking, and for many families this is not in any way feasible (often that is why their loved ones are in a facility in the first place).
As I said at the outset, I have no answer. You have to weigh all the factors, do what you discern is best at any given time, and move forward knowing you did what you could with what you had. I wish you all the best.

Aren’t they in assisted living because their needs are too great to live on their on or with family care? There is risk where they are just as there is risk by them being out in the community, as there’s no foolproof plan in this for any of us. What’s the increased risk of other problems by leaving where they are and not having the help they currently receive?

I liked Midkid58's response. I sometimes feel like I need to fix it for my Mother. But really with anyone - a great place to start with in responding is to acknowledge their feelings to let them know you get what they are saying. To understand that what they are feeling is a valid feeling even if you can't fix it.

My mom is in a rehabilitation/assisted living after coming out of the hospital for internal bleeding. She has multiple health problems CHF, COPD, and has now mostly lost her ability to walk. That's mostly due to inactivity due to pinched nerves in her back. In any case she was supposed to only be there until she could walk up the steps and come home. Physical therapy did not improve anything for her. Then this virus hit and I wasn't able to go see her anymore. She's been isolated in her room totally by herself day in and day out. She only sees the nurses when they bring her food or meds and do dressing changes for her legs. I decided to move to a downstairs apartment and am currently moving so I can bring her home. She is terribly lonely and doesn't even have another person to laugh with or talk to or watch tv with. The nurses are short staffed and very busy. They have also become stressed and moody towards my mom. I'm getting her out of there as fast as I can. I've been very careful to not be exposed to the covid-19 but cannot be tested. She understands the risks and is willing to take the chance just to come home.

This is a very tough situation for seniors. My physically fit 91 -year- old mother lives in a retirement village in New Zealand. I moved her into our home during lockdown because I was worried about covid transmission in aged care facilities. With 20/20 hindsight she would have felt and done better In her own little unit. Our house does not have flat access and she felt caged and miserable stuck in our house. The retirement village organised supermarket deliveries for all the seniors living there - at our home we struggled to meet the needs of her specialised diet and to get online deliveries. Our lockdown has mostly lifted, she is back home and much happier in her own environment. It is a very difficult time. Big hugs to families in other countries faced with these decisions.

Just know IF you take them out you will most likely upon returning them have them put into quarantine for at least 14 additional days and testing. Would that be worth it? Our AL facility will allow us to remove our parents but the repercussions are too costly. Quarantine, testing, disinfecting. Plus all the additional care we would incur. This is truly a no win. I feel they " the government" needs to lighten the restrictions. They cannot stay locked in forever. We are less than 6 months from the beginning of influenza season.... cold weather for some.... no bueno....