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gdaughter Asked May 2020

How are you coping with outside caregivers coming into your home during the pandemic?

I am really on edge, living with 2 elder parents myself and letting outsiders in. But here I am contemplating trying to get some help for mom with personal care (that has been a challenge for 3 years and that she has consistently rejected). The warmer weather has resulted in dad's nose detecting or contributing to his feeling there is more odor. I have a couple calls out for respite programs to give it a try again, just to focus on the goal of her personal care...but wonder if I am taking an unnecessary risk for all of us considering the track record of resistance and failure and that those who provide in -home care could be anywhere at any time and be exposed and bringing it in. One agency claimed to be encouraging the limitation of their staff to work and home only...but come on...I wouldn't believe that for a second. It's evident there is a lot of stupidity out there. I'm also wondering about a workman or two coming in for a day or less to install some kitchen appliances that have been waiting on our living room floor for months. I'm just running a little scared. I have an N-95 I am reusing when I go to the store and shop and take all the precautions I can...but mom is 97 with dementia, dad now 103 and stubborn...What are you all doing?? PS PLEASE: do not suggest the personal care ideas of the no-rinse this or that or the spa day set up. My mother's personality and the relationships are such that they cannot be considered.

gdaughter May 2020
Thanks everyone. I realize it is risk vs benefit, but I'm also taking into consideration the failures of the past. This virus is deadly, and the risk is real, although thank goodness beyond age there are no other health issues. I do think shoe covers are worth considering and can get my hands on some I think. I'd feel better with a nurse than an aide, because the aides I have met don't give a damn beyond getting a paycheck. They are nice, but they don't do any more than they have to and even one who was retired nurse lacked common sense. Also will be a challenge with mom in the house as I have seen with a painter we had in...I had an aide to help and she was of no help letting me jump up every time mom approached. She literally was at his side at every chance our guard would be down and we were sitting right there...to protect the painter from her. Hoping my dad can get her out and luckily we have a way to bolt the kitchen doors and keep her out, so that won't be quite as hard.
Grandma as always, good advice:-) But with what I know, the fever thing is just making people feel better and a false sense of security. The only one it is benefiting are those selling them:-)
Will see where the road leads as no call backs as yet...

Happyplace May 2020
Now that more time has passed and there seems to be more PPE and understanding of how the virus spreads, I am not so afraid of having people come in. My Mom was hospitalized for a week recently and did not contract the virus, so that to me is a good sign that healthcare workers are doing their jobs and PPE helps to control the virus.

My Mom is currently having visiting nurses come out because of her recent hospitalization. They are very good about washing/disinfecting frequently during their visit, and only use the minimal physical contact possible. We had initially held her regular home health aide in March because I was out of work and because of fear of the virus. However, I am going back to work and so she will start coming again in another week or so.

I don't think it would be a problem to have appliance people in your house. Just have your parents in another room until they are gone and until you can disinfect anything they touch after they leave.

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Grandma1954 May 2020
Most companies that will send in people to install appliances will take precautions, shoe covers are very common because they do not want to mar a floor. (Honestly I would not worry about shoe covers)
You could request they wear gloves, if they do not have them I will bet you have a box or 2 in the house.
As far as a covering over clothes...You are not going to come in contact with them so I think a cover for clothes is a bit much.
You can wipe down the appliances when they leave, as well as any surfaces they may have touched.
You could ask them BEFORE they come into the house if they are feeling well, have a fever, or have been in contact with anyone that has been exposed or diagnosed with COVID19. If they have reschedule and contact the company.

You can do the same for any caregivers. But since they will probably have physical contact you can request they wear a covering over clothes. (or stop and buy 1 or 2 pair of "scrubs" outfits to keep in the house and have them change when they come in, when they leave and you can wash the scrubs when the shift is over) They can wash hands when the arrive, wear masks. And put gloves on before any physical contact. And screen them before they come into the house, feeling alright? Fever? Exposure?
You need help and a balance must be struck. You will be of no use if you are so exhausted and burned out that you can not function. As with all things in life when a choice must be made...Benefit VS Burden....and Head VS Heart.

cwillie May 2020
You can provide them with a makeshift gown to cover their clothes (extra large button down shirt?) and some indoor slippers or crocs. I assume they are already provided with masks, make sure they are using them properly.

Daughterof1930 May 2020
Sounds like you need the help far more than you need to fear a virus. Have the helpers wash their hands upon entering your home, keep your distance from them, and hope for the best. There is no perfect plan in this, but you need help and to get things done, don’t let fear rule and make you panicked. And yes, we’ve kept my dad’s helper throughout this, and all has been fine. They are both careful but not fearful

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