Do family members get paid to take care of family? If so where do I start?

As is noted by WorriedinCali, your best option is Medicaid. He should start by assigning durable PoA to your son (or any other local, trustworthy family member). Then help him apply for Medicaid. He will be able to get into a facility that accepts Medicaid recipients. If he descends further into dementia without assigning a PoA, no one will be legally able to make decisions for him unless they pursue guardianship of him. This has to be done through the courts and costs money and is time-consuming. If someone doesn't get guardianship, then the county will and the family loses control but they will provide all his care. You can download durable PoA paperwork online for your specific state from Legalzoom.com or Rocketlawyer.com for a nominal fee. This will be good enough in your situation. Follow instructions on how to finalize it (probably requires non-family witnesses and a notary, your husband will need to be able to be present and sign and understand what he's doing). If you don't own many assets (house, car, properties) the Medicaid app is not difficult but you will need to provide bank and financial info. It takes about 3 months to know if he's approved and they will ask for any medical bills incurred in the 3 months prior to the date of his application (because they are willing to cover these if he qualifies). I wish you all the best as you work towards finding the best solution.

Mslady, after reading your profile, I honestly think it is time for a village to take over of your husband's care. Please note that close to 40% of caregivers die leaving behind the person they were caring, I would hate to see this happen to your son. It is both physically and mentally exhausting.

I know this is a very difficult decision to make. With your husband's Alzheimer's/Dementia becoming worst as time goes on, he will need around the clock care, if he isn't having that now. One person cannot do the work for 3 full-time caregivers each and every day.

My own Dad [94] was starting to deal with memory lost, and it was his idea to move into senior care. He loved it, and wished he would have moved there sooner. Eventually my Dad had to move to Memory Care, and he was content living there.

One would need to see if this can be budgeted for your husband. Depending on where you live is how much the monthly rent. If this cannot be budgeted, then you would need to check with Medicaid [which is different than Medicare] to see what they offer for memory care.

Medicare doesn’t pay family caregivers. And unfortunately your in the one state that really doesn’t have financial assistance for family caregivers not even through Medicaid. If you have private insurance, give them a call but I doubt you have any type of coverage that will pay your son/step son to take care of his father.