Skyegettle Asked May 2020

Conflicting stories from the nursing home staff, I don't know what to believe?

So my grandmother has been in this one nursing home for almost 4 years.
They call us like every other day and say stuff like my grandma is screaming and keeping everyone up all night. They said she was stealing things from other residents, (I don't believe because she is bed ridden. She can't even get herself into her wheelchair). They said she is becoming very combative with staff and other residents verbally and physically. (Which is very unlike my grandma. I've never even heard her get mad and yell at someone.)
The home called and told me she didn't have any money in her account (to buy snacks, go on outtings to food places) I said I was just there and put $50 on her account. They said she was giving her money to the other residents. But then I went in and sat down with her and asked who she was giving her money to, and she said "Oh, the fellow that cleans our room needed some money for something, so I let him have it."
Oh but the home says she's giving it to residents... Not that there's a guy that cleans who's begging them all for money.
I was and I am still pissed about that. They have an employee bumming money off the residents.
Last week they called me wanting to put a feeding tube in her because she was losing weight and wouldn't eat. But they called me two days later and said they gave her iv fluids and oh she really perked up and she's doing so good.
They put her on Zoloft for depression (I also take it, so I know ALOT about it) not even two weeks later they took hey off the Zoloft and put her on something else because they claimed it wasn't working. Zoloft needs to build up in your freaking system. Two weeks was not a long enough time for her to be on it to show results! These people, like what the heck?
One day she's on her death bed, the next she's so good and fabulous. It's just hard. I don't know what to believe.

Does stuff like like this happen to anybody else??
I feel like I'm going crazy with how much they call me.

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First

Never heard of anything like what you relate. The money shouldn’t be available for grandma to give away, that’s supposed to go through the accounting office, and they certainly shouldn’t be doing it. At the least, I’d ask them to video some of these outbursts they’re calling you about so you can see them yourself. And start shopping for a better home for grandma

Helpful Answer (12)

This is not true for the resident. They can pull money out at any time as long as it is there.

(2)

What you've described is very strange indeed. I'm not sure whey they would be calling you every other day about her outbursts. Its not as if you could do anything about it. Usually they will call to tell you about a medication adjustment they are going to do. As far as the money in the trust account, that doesn't make any sense at all. Normally it has to go through the accounting office and the items that are purchased go through the accountant, the accountant shouldn't be handing out cash to the resident for the purpose of the resident giving it someone else. What state is she in? What you've described is not what I've experienced nor have I read any stories similar to this. you may want to look into moving her to a different nursing home.

Helpful Answer (8)

Residents are allowed to pull out money anytime they wish as long as its there in the acct. Family has to show receipts and I think only someone who has been given authority can do that.

(1)

You need to talk to the nursing home administrator. There is something very unusual and strange about the calls you are receiving. Also schedule an appointment with her physician.

Helpful Answer (7)

OK...who is the doctor in charge of her care? And have you spoken directly with the director of nursing? You need to tell her it’s inappropriate for them to be calling you like this. Also you need a sit down care conference. The doctor can prescribe something if she is truly having outbursts. And who might I ask decided to discontinue the Zoloft? That can’t be done without doctor's orders. Otherwise they are in violation. Get to the bottom of this with a care conference. Have your notes handy and get this resolved. That place sounds crazy! And I might add, dangerous.

Helpful Answer (7)

Everything you describe sounds concerning. You should contact your local long term care ombudsman with your concerns. Write a letter to your grandmother’s doctor and the NH Administration outlining your concerns and copy the ombudsman. Request a meeting to discuss further. Consider moving her to another facility.

Helpful Answer (7)

What does grandma need her money for? Maybe its time to limit her access.

I think its also time to get the DON and Administrator together for a meeting. First, no constant calls. Its their job to handle anything that comes up and deal with it. The only calls you want are what the State requires. She fell, sending her to the hospital, fell out of bed, etc. The DON is in charge of the staff.

If this is new behaviour, your grandma could be entering another stage of her Dementia. Personally, I would want her seen by a neurologist to determine what medication she should be on and then consult with the facilities doctor. The doctor associated with the facility is the only one who can prescribe and take away. I agree that 2 weeks is not long enough to see if a med works. The only reason to stop it would be a adverse reaction to it. Her screaming at night could be caused by night terrors. Her being combatant could be a UTI, have them check for it.

I agree, I don't see why the NH would make things up. So, go into this meeting with the attitude things have changed with grandma. Her Dementia will worsen as the brain dies. If she has been stable for 4 yrs you are lucky.

Helpful Answer (5)

Time to get the Ombudsman involved and ask for a meeting with the Administrator to review all these issues. Start keeping a log of all the calls & who you spoke with.

Helpful Answer (4)

I agree with the people on here who said to contact the Ombudsman for your area. They will get to the bottom of it.

Helpful Answer (4)

If she is on a certain section like maybe Skilled Nursing(Who do all of the above)Then NO CALLS SHOULD BE NECESSARY. They should know how to handle Them or not be working there....

Helpful Answer (3)

This woman obviously has dementia and is acting out. Medication can to an extent control this but not always. When people are old and have dementia, they should be in memory care units where their handling is much more intense. I doubt that the nursing home (for possible legal reasons) would be so stupid as to call you and make up stories. I think they are telling the truth. I believe they get $35 a month in a personal account. Work out something with the nursing home that no one, only YOU can authorize giving out money. And be sure you have a Power of Attorney first. Get help from the doctors to handle the medications - they have to follow the orders exactly. At this stage the ups and downs in what happens will be very apparent and are normal. I would also sit down with the top medical director and document exactly what is happening and come to terms what to do about it. She could be in the wrong place. The fact is behavior like this simply cannot be tolerated and must be controlled by whatever means one can come up with.

Helpful Answer (3)

Lockett, personal needs accounts can have more than 35.00. It depends on what state you live in how much you get to keep from your SS, but that doesn't mean that a family member can't put money on your account.

(2)

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Conflicting stories from the nursing home staff, I don't know what to believe?

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