My husband has dementia. What is the going rate for a live in, not through an agency?

It is entirely dependent on where you live. We can’t tell you a specific rate because there isn’t one, it downed where you live. You will need to provide room & board and pay a full salary at at least minimum wage for every hour worked plus overtime. You’ll need to get an employer identification number & take care of the payroll taxes and have adequate insurance (Workman’s comp or through your home owners insurance) should your employee become injured on the job. You’ll have to abide by state and federal employment laws-so you’ll need to make sure the employee is given adequate sleep time and regular breaks and time off.