My mother (88) is living in supportive living. They are seeking to remove her due to her need for more care than they can provide. Any advice?

I just finished moving my mother during the Covid restrictions. This was difficult. (I am still hyperventilating). New places want a Covid test within a few days of the move before signing a contract. This made for stress in giving notice at the current place.

Also I could not tour new places in person or see the inside of her proposed room. Not knowing if she had Covid I did not know if I could move Mom and so could not order furniture (her old place was furnished). Luckily her new place had an extra bed and chair.

It is difficult to get your Mom’s old room cleared out when you can not go into the building.

It is heartbreaking to not be able to be with Mom during her transition. Also, it is difficult not to be able to arrange Mom’s room, hang pictures, etc. and I foresee difficulty in furniture that may require assembly. Mom’s new facility has been wonderful with these issues. They have gone out of their way to make a smooth transition, but still, with Covid issues, the transition is difficult.

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All that being said and considering the detriment of the stress on your mother.... A solution: Possibly your mother could stay where she is with Medicare paid skilled nursing through a home health agency or the Medicare Hospice program.

Not knowing what the medical obstacles are my first suggestion would be to get in touch with her care team leader, try to have a family care team meeting to see if there is a way to work with her needs while keeping her in those familiar surroundings until restrictions are lifted enough for an easier transition on the patient. Barring that and even if you are able to get a stay for a bit I would look into getting an Echo Show or the Google, FB equivalent set up in her room now so she gets used to visiting with you virtually. The Show and I’m sure others gives you the ability to do this anytime without someone having to assist or your mom having to do anything to answer. She can even drop in on you if she’s able to speak to it. I suggest this not just because it may help more regular personal visits (short of physically being there) now but if she ends up having to be moved before restrictions are lifted it comes close to having you there in a familiar way participating. It may give her some familiarity and prevent her from feeling alone. When my mom was in the hospital with heart issues we set up her Show in the hospital room and one night they decided to move her to another room because they needed to move around patients. They called me so I could drop in and explain it to her and then moved the Show with her, plugging it in and setting it up in the new room so I was “there” and it helped tremendously with her anxiety. I’m thinking something similar could help with any transitions for your mom that are less than ideal (not that any transitions are ideal for them) but necessary. Good luck

Residents can still be moved during a pandemic. They need to be realistic in her care needs and if they are not able to provide them. If they have a social worker, reach out to them. They may be able to help with placement. Moving during this pandemic is very hard of them though. Nursing facilities are still not allowing visitors. Spend time on the phone with her if possible. The window visits, though not ideal, may help as well.