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Alicew234 Asked June 2020

Landline in Memory Care?

We recently (hesitantly) added a landline to our parent's room in memory care. It is a phone for the hard of hearing and conversations are going much, much better. Unfortunately, he occasionally gets his days and nights mixed up and phones people in the middle of the night.


Most of us use cell phones and we can set the phones not to accept calls between certain hours. But his sister has a landline. I've been researching and it looks like she could block his number completely, but not just between certain hours. She's 93, so I don't want to suggest a complicated fix to her- like block the number before going to bed and unblock it in the morning.


Has anyone found a way to block midnight calls from the nursing home resident? The facility suggested taking his phone out of the room but as we can't visit, it is very nice to have him be able to hear us when we call.

lealonnie1 Jun 2020
I bought my mother who lives in Memory Care an Alzheimer's clock which tells you, in big bold letters & numbers, the time of day and whether it's day or night......do you think such a clock would help your dad? Here's a link to what they looks like and do, so check it out:

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=alzheimers+clock&crid=3QMQXGEWMUAPO&sprefix=alzheimers+clock%2Caps%2C535&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_16

If your dad is cognizant enough still, he will realize it's 1 am in the morning when he's trying to make a phone call and it will wake the person up. If he's past that point, however, the clock won't help. My mother is 93 with moderate dementia; up and down, but still somewhat cognizant on most days. While she insists the clock has been a HUGE help to her, she still asks me what day it is ALL the time.
So who knows, right?

I don't have a solution for you as far as blocking the late night calls, unfortunately. I will say that as much aggravation as my mother's phone causes me, and it causes A LOT (to say the least), I am not willing to remove it from her room until and unless she starts calling 911 like her sister did. The phone is her last remnant of normalcy and her only means of contacting her friends and nieces out of state, along with me and her grandchildren.

Good luck!
Alicew234 Jun 2020
Great idea, thank you.
Frebrowser Jun 2020
Would a phone that requires power and a smart plug or other timer device work for her? I have an older cordless phone base that doesn't work without electricity. Set the timer to turn off power to the bedroom phone during specified hours.

I would suggest an additional phone with the ringer turned off in case she needs to call out when the other phone is disabled

On a related note, here is a thread on safelisting incoming calls for elders:

https://www.bogleheads.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=317663&newpost=5314565.

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worriedinCali Jun 2020
Turning the ringer off at night isn’t an easy fix since the OP doesn’t live with the 93 year old and can’t turn the ringer on and off for her.
Alicew234 Jun 2020
Good grief! I don't think anyone is suggesting that SHE turn HIS ringer off. I want her to turn off her own ringer so he can't call her at 2 am. But then she'd have to remember to turn it off and on. And she's 93.

I just wanted to know if there were any technological fixes for this problem. Does not seem like there is.
gemswinner12 Jun 2020
Easiest fix for this is , As JoAnn29 mentioned, turn her ringer off at bedtime, then turn her ringer on in the morning when she is awake and ready to take any and all calls. I would worry about his calls to 911 or emergency services if he feels thwarted and is not getting the attention he wants. These calls are expensive and will be passed down to the resident. They start at around $300 for the first false alarm call, and go up in price from there. Over ten years ago when someone burned popcorn in our microwave at a hospital, our facility was charged $500 for the firemen who showed up. Not one of the eight of us present ever fessed up to burning the popcorn (it wasn't me!!). I surely enjoyed the eye candy of having the strapping firemen come to our rescue, but I wouldn't pay $500 for the show.
Alicew234 Jun 2020
Thank you. That is helpful. If he does that, we will pull out the landline for sure.
Countrymouse Jun 2020
Can't you wipe your aunt's number from his phone? And take it out of his address book? Then she can phone him, instead.

If he knows her number by heart, then yes she'll just have to turn her ringer down at night.
Alicew234 Jun 2020
I will look into which phone service she has and see if we can put a Do not disturb feature on. That's a great idea. No one should be ringing her late at night anyway! There must be some way to solve this. The phone we've bought is helping so much with talking to him.

I'm really concerned for all our elderly. Even the ones who are living independently seem to me to be slipping a bit due to the isolation.
JoAnn29 Jun 2020
All I can say is turn her ringer down at night or unplug the phone.

This is why I feel phones are not needed in a MC situation. The resident has a tendency of abusing it. Hopefully you have it set that only local calls can be made.
Alicew234 Jun 2020
We thought that too. But the isolation has been very difficult for him and he just lost his wife. We thought being able to hear us would be helpful as he processes this loss. It is a relief not to have to shout at him.

I will suggest that she turn off her ringer at night. If he continues to disturb her sleep, we will have to pull the phone out.

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