Covid 19 and isolation with mom is causing me despair. Anyone have tips for fighting depression alone?

Just beware the few "debbie downers" that pop in now and again. Most of us are helpful or at least can commiserate! Ignore those "downers" if they show up - they aren't worth a minute of your time!

I do agree that this is a good, safe place overall to bounce ideas, seek support, or just confirm your sanity!!!

Outside counseling helps some people, but not everyone who hangs a shingle understands everything - it really isn't possible, and we don't know when signing up with them what their level of expertise is. Here we know that others have been going down the same roads and "get it." Too often friends and even family get tired of hearing about whatever and shut you out. WE don't!

If mom is living with you, it makes it hard to get out, virus or not. Is it possible to hire someone to watch over mom, even for a hour here or there? Even just to get out, without interfacing with others, can help. Deep breath, take a walk, a drive, get a coffee and sit in the park, whatever helps you to unwind!

Volunteer work, if you are caring for your mother in your home (or hers) would likely have to be something you can do mostly from home. I am sure there are programs out there that need help that you can do!

Is there any way you can try to reconnect with some old friends or family? Try to keep the conversations light, if you can. Many times others are not comfortable talking about issues like your mom's or just don't want to hear it all the time. Focus on good times had, what they've been up to, maybe make some future plans to meet up (in a safe place while the virus is still circulating.) A quick bite or coffee, just to reconnect...

Most family and friends for me are in the past. Lost touch with most extended family, didn't have time between working and raising 2 kids to make meaningful friendships, and just prior to getting laid off, I bought another house and also had to take on mom duty, so I hear you! I did not take her in, but spent a lot of time helping her before the move to MC and even just managing everything for her is time-consuming! I've made a few "friends" here in my new neighborhood (not exactly a housing development - much more spread out!) Hoping to get this place finally finished (repairs had to wait) so that I can invite them over and make better friendships!

Don't lose yourself while caring for mom. You need to find a good balance!

T, I also made the decision that it was unrealistic to never leave the house, except to sneak out for an hour in the a.m. before she woke up (I'm talking 6:00 a.m.), or during her afternoon nap (thank goodness Target used to open at 7:00 a.m!). For my sanity I had to accept that 'it' may very well happen while I'm not physically there (my mom's 91 and quite fragile/frail). Actually, most of the falls and breaks happened when I WAS there, anyway. Like you, coming to this has helped my state of mind tremendously. We (my two wicked sisters) finally arranged for a 'watcher' for 4 hours a day, and I assured the caretaker that 'it' WILL happen (again), based upon my mother being my mother, not exercising, and thinking she's being 'cute' when she engages in risky behaviors.

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YES! You MUST get out and do some things for yourself. It's soooo important.

Try to re-establish contact with some old friends. Invite your son out for coffee - not just when there's an emergency.

Get out for some fresh air and exercise.

Look for a local support group for care takers.

I like the idea of some kind of volunteering.

10 years is a loooong time to be providing elder care. Whew! You've done a LOT.

Thank you so much for your heart warming words. I wish i had a friend like you in my community. Covid 19 has made socialization so much more difficult. The greatest advice you gave me is to reach out and help others. I once did a lot of social ministry in my church when i was much younger. Witnessing the gratitude expressed by someone in need has brought me tremendous joy. You are so right that this is our best defense against depression. Thank you and God bless you my friend!