Mother in hospice and has no will, no POA and I have no way to assist her financially during her stay since I am not listed as beneficiary.

Gyorgyi; I think the only thing you can do is ask the social worker at the hospice facility to pursue guardianship. I'm so sorry that you are in this awful situation. (((((Hugs)))))))

What assets? Don’t they all go to the NH for her care? Are you certain she has assets? All he’d money should have been spent on her care.

Without POA you don’t have the legal authority to access her assets. You are between a rock and a hard place.

Do you know if she has a prepaid burial set up? If not please work on this just in case she passes away as if not the NH will be calling you (or maybe not since you don’t have POA). It will cause you a lot more stress when funeral homes call you to “offer their services” & try to guilt you into spending big bucks on a cremation or burial or whatever. Those
funeral directors come out of the woodwork when someone dies. They prey on your vulnerability.

It must be hard on both of you if you haven’t seen her in 10 years prior to your visit in March. I certainly understand stubborn elderly folks. You said you were able to apply for Medi-cal for her- how did you manage to complete the application for that and not have a record of her assets?

Bank of America is the absolute worst bank. I went through much crap last year when my brother died intestate. They had the absolute nerve to tell me that I did not have the right to access my brothers safety deposit box before they (BOA) looked through it to see if any of those contents belonged to them. This from an assistant manager as well. That got my New Jersey ire up & I told her that was in fact illegal. After they made a few calls to their mgmt I WAS allowed access right then and there. They were breaking the law.

I had the administrator‘a certificate from his county Estate department with the proper seal notarized in the estate office completed the day before.

That bank continued to put up any obstacle they could for me to access the box plus the money in his savings account (less than $4K) to bury the poor guy (in the interim my husband and I paid for the funeral). On that day they gave me half his checking acct money and told me I had to wait and fill out more ppwk to get the other half. Well I did and it took 3 more months after that and I had to file paperwork for the State of New Jersey wait for some form from them and then go to the bank to close the account.

This is hard to do if you aren’t there in LA. Believe me, no one cares as much as you do & no one else will take any initiative to help unless you are in their face.

After 10 years of not seeing your mother I get the impression you don’t care that much at this point and that’s ok too. Tell me if I am wrong but it sounds like this is a burden for you & you have your life in SC which is more important as it is your livelihood. Everyone didn’t have wonderful parents. I advise letting the state take over guardianship over your mother as it’s clear you can’t go to LA. You can’t afford the fight, so let it go.

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/my-mother-is-in-hospice-in-los-angeles-and-i-live-in-south-carolina-i-am-unable-to-have-her-sign-a-p-459513.htm

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/mother-in-hospice-out-of-state-and-landlord-wants-her-belongings-gone-by-end-of-month-i-dont-have-459475.htm

Thought your question sounded familiar. Not sure what we can really say. You are really between a rock and a hard place. I think what you need to do is contact a lawyer where Mom is and see if there is a quick way to get conservatorship over Mom. There are no quick fixes here especially with the Virus. Yes, it will cost you upfront, but you maybe able to use Moms money to offset the cost once you can get to her accts. This is a question for MediCal if Mom is using it or will be using it for her care.

Your only other option is allow the State to take over. They can get things done more quickly. But...you will have no imput concerning Moms care or how her money is spent.

If you were to set up online banking with the info you have, are there any family to challenge that? I doubt very much your mom would know or care. She gave you her information because she trusts you. Just do it. As long as you are using her funds for her needs no one will ever question it if you don't have meddling family.

Look into virtual notary services. Some notaries will now witness a signature by video, and you send them the document to notarize.

Good luck!!

The question is, is she on Medicaid? If so, how do they receive her SS and any pension for her care? Are they payee? Automatic withdrawal? If she pays privately, how was that set up?

Is Mom competent enough to call the bank and with a Nurses help explain that she is on Hospice and is not able to get out of the facility? That she needs someone to be able to excess her account. Or, if it has to do with payment to the facility, to set up automatic withdrawal to the facility.

The only thing the facility may need to do is wait until Mom passes for their money if this is the problem. You can then go to her County Probate office and become Administrator. This will give you the ability to handle Moms money. You then pay off any outstanding debts.

Will your mom give you verbal permission to set up online banking? If she tells you to do that you can legally do that. I would record the call to protect yourself. Tell her at the beginning of the call that it is being recorded and ask her if she is okay with that, just to cover yourself.

Can she receive phone calls in the event they want to send a code that you will need to finish signing up?

One thing that you want to keep in mind. If she is on Medicaid you want to be very mindful of how you handle her money. If they detected fraud it could be ugly, not saying you are or would do anything inappropriate, just a heads up.

I am sorry that you are going through this at such a difficult time.

Is your mother private paying? Or on Medicaid? Is she cognizant? I just don't see any options other than through the legal system (or pursuing some sort of temporary allowance by the court to let you and a notary in). I would ask the facility SW if they intend to pursue guardianship, since someone needs to legally advocate for her asap. How is the facility being paid if your mom isn't managing it? If you say going to LA is not an option now, what would be the event that triggers you to travel there, if any? I would keep pursuing the SW with your issue.

Any possibility of setting up online banking or telephone banking to cut out the middleman?
This was years ago but I can clearly remember being on the phone and having them ask to speak to my mother to confirm her wishes, if you are prepared or a good mimic anyone can play that role 🙄. (And no it's not fraud, you have a legal POA and they are just being d*ckheads)