Is there life after a Narcissistic parent dies and what are the affects to your mental well being?

Emerging from years under the shadow of a Narcissistic mother is gradual, but also startling every minute. When you realize you can speak, feel, laugh without the inherent judgment of a narcissist , you gradually become yourself. I think the biggest fallacy about us is that we don't care or are selfish. No. We are emotionally exhausted. Our sacrifice is silent, mostly unknown. With the support of friends or therapists or an Amazon driver that smiles, we know our value is real. Please, if at all possible, approach every situation as someone valued by some pretty great people. Either you have known them, or you know them now. Lucy

My narcissistic mother is declining rapidly and in order to save my sanity and get on a healthier path of well being I am reading the book Will I ever be good enough? The author of this book is Karyl McBride. This book has been a godsend to me as I deal with the many issues brought on by being raised in a narcissistic home. My therapist has also read the book and we discuss goals and healing. Focus on yourself and pray.

I am very interested in this thread. My Mom is likely nearing her end, I doubt she will be here come Christmas. She has a multitude of narcissistic and borderline qualities. Right now I am working on separating out the issues I carry with her abuse, keeping the boundaries that protect my own well being and finding a place in my heart to be there for her during this difficult time. Mom is consumed with anger and fear, she is in constant pain, her confusion has escalated dramatically. No matter what was in the past she is suffering and there is little I can do to help except be a voice of love and support WHEN she lets me.

I think feelings of loss and grief start start before death in these situations. I also think it is probably normal to have conflicting feelings. I look forward to hearing what others are going through.

i will feel an incredible amount of relief when my Mom passes. I will still have to deal with cleaning out her hoarder house, paying for her her burial (she thinks why should she pay for it) and figuring and dealing with whatever fallout will take place because she is refusing to do any final papers as well as her 15g credit card debt that she claims at 85 she will be able to pay off even though she only has social security as a source of income. I have had to deal with her having a dog that pees and poops in the house because she won’t let the dog out and now the dog is afraid to go out I am officially done with my mom. After just over 11 years of caretaking I struggle with being angry, resentful and bitter. I just want my life back. I have read books and watched YouTube videos and that has helped me. I am just soo done with taking her to all of her appointments. She has singly handedly destroyed my relationships with my siblings and I have had to work weekends to accommodate her appointments. I live for the day I am free. I am in the search for a good therapist. Wishing everyone healing from a narcissist parent!

The only way I could untangle the untruths and see reality as it is was to see a counselor. It was the only way for me.

I’m taking care of my narcissistic mother right now, so I wish I had an answer. I’m interested in any answers you may receive. There are more of us out here than you know. All I can recommend is a good therapist. There is life after this. I’m sure.

Good luck my friend and know you are not alone.

I'm raising my hand on this one.

My fears, suspiscions, and expections of what is to come next after the passing of my NPD mom . . .is yet to be seen.

I can tell you, after day two post death, I may need some serious therapy. Maybe not! but then again . .

I can tell you that the essence of resentment is creeping in.

Its really important to become educated about what narcissism is. The best resources are on Youtube for free. When you start listening to some of these videos, you will start to feel a lot of grief. After a while, you start to understand that people with narcissism are just trying to survive like all the rest of us. The problem is that their strategies for doing this are about taking from you to give to themselves, which is not OK. Some of the counselors you see on Youtube offer classes, specifically for children of narcissistic parents. You just have to look around to find what you like. It will be a relief to see that the behavior patterns you saw in your parents have been seen by so many others in theirs. After a while, you will start to forgive them and yourself (!) for simply being who you are. You can have peace and a good life after a loss like you describe. With someone with narcissism, it just takes some effort to understand before you can let go and get on with your life.

I live one day at a time living in the same situation with my hoarder mom.
Her health is failing and when she passes away I have no clue how I financially will be able to move out all her hoarding crap. Every month she spends 4000.00 on warehouses and an art gallery full of paintings she owns, but refuses to let me step in and sell them. I have POA but she is still smart as a tack at 91 yrs old.
It's her way or the highway for me. She loves to tell me, if you don't like living here then move somewhere where you will be happy! Unfortunately I have no funds to move out or I would. I continue seeing my therapist for support, which only helps a little bit, but it's worth it since I suffer from panic attacks and need the meds for it. When she passes away I know there will be a big weight of relief from all the stress and guilt I deal with on a daily basis.

I don't know if there's life after a narc parent dies, b/c mine will live forever, I'm sure of it. Life DURING is no picnic, though, isn't that a fact? I am quite sure I will feel a huge sense of relief once the event occurs b/c then I won't have to dread the daily phone calls, the daily verbal beatings, the financial management, the doctors, the hospitals, the rehabs............and all the endless, endless mind games that are played with me. Not one little bit.

I will welcome the feeling of knowing what freedom looks and feels like. And knowing how it feels to breathe deeply again. And to feel relaxed. To me, that's what recovery will be all about.