I am trying to help my mom's declining health and it's emotionally draining. She is 90 and it's hard watching her decline. How do I cope?

respite care- so you can rest- or hire someone so you can just take a hot bath rest and relax- breathing exercises- helps to get a good hot tea- meditation or praying- doing what your doing now- reach out- your not alone- so you have people who understand

Are you able to get help with her care? Long term caregiving can really exhaust you. It is sad to see our parents decline in health. I have noticed that with mine lately. While their health is relatively good, they have some issues. I try to look at the positive side as to all they have accomplished and enjoyed so far. I don’t want to lose them, but I do hope that they don’t suffer. There seems to be a lot more mental distress in seniors that I never knew before.

I don’t really have any answers...just try to take breaks, get help and be kind to yourself. Caregiving is hard work. If she’s ready for hospice, you might explore that. My cousin, who has end stage dementia, is on hospice. They have been very helpful. I’m much more prepared for that death. I’ve had years to prepare for that.

You are not alone in this difficult emotional journey. I think one needs to work on coming to peace with the fact that everyone passes eventually. Very few elders are physically and mentally "whole" and then just pass blissfully in their sleep. Your mom has the blessing of your care! That's more than many have ever had. You've done yeoman's work and should be content with that effort. But now maybe you are approaching burnout, which makes the emotional drain all the more intense and can cloud the ability to make decisions. Whatever you need to do for yourself and your husband's health and sanity is completely acceptable and don't let anyone tell you differently. May you have rest, recovery and peace in your heart no matter what you choose to do.