LO was In MC now in rehab. Waiting to go back to MC calls constantly “if you love me bring me home,” gets agitated, yells. Calls draining me.

In a slightly different scenario when my MIL would not cooperate with rehab nurses, my husband made a large sign in his handwriting saying, "Mom, please do what the nurses ask so you can get better and come home. Love, B-----" She recognized his handwriting. The nurses would point to it when she got resistant and agitated. It worked pretty well. Maybe something similar will work for your dad, like put your picture large with a message of assurances. It may help to calm him, and might also be helpful to the staff as well. I wish you all the best in this challenging situation. It won't be like this forever...will just feel like it.

I don't think the details of this situation matter too much. I do think YOUR health and well being matters here. I occasionally get those types of calls from my 93 y/o mother who lives in Memory Care and I can tell you this: THEY ARE NOT FUN and they are very stressful and emotionally draining. Period.

Continue to let the calls go to voice mail. Select ONE time of day to call your LO and stick to that schedule. Listen to what he has to say and offer your sorrow and condolences for the situation at hand. Remind him he'll be leaving soon, and that his doctor is 'working on his release.'

That is ALL you can do. You ask if no communication is harmful to a dementia patient. A better question to ask is this: is all this communication from a dementia patient harmful to YOU. We all have a tendency to think ONLY of the elder when in reality, there are others to consider as well. Your LO is not the only one suffering here; you are too. The upside of dementia is that he will probably forget that many of his calls went to voice mail to begin with, and be perfectly fine with the one call a day rule. It's YOU that has to come to terms with that boundary.

Good luck!

Thats all you can do is block him. I am assuming he has a cell phone. You can ask that it be removed from his room. I know with the COVID that cell phones are residents lifelines right now. And I have been told I seem to say this alot, but when the resident abuses the priviledge than I think it should be taken away. But for now with the COVID just keep blocking.

Don't know how long the gentleman has been living in memory care. Don't know what happened to take him into rehab, or how long he has been there. Don't know what led to his being admitted to memory care in the first place, or what form of dementia he has, or what his mental state is.

So all in all... we're a bit too much in the dark to comment.

In terms of communication, though, I should have thought the best thing to do would be to liaise closely with the staff managing his care in the rehab unit. That way, you can stay informed about his mental, physical and emotional condition without undergoing the stress of his ranting at you.

Your not communicating with him directly shouldn't be harmful to him as long as those caring for him are aware of his needs, including for example for reassurance and clear explanations about what is happening right now. Are you confident that they will be taking good care of him?

What a headache he is. It must be very stressful for you to deal with him.

You are right in blocking his calls. Obviously, communicating with him is very harmful to your mental health. As for him, since he has memory problem, he won't remember if he talks or not talks to you. I doubt it can do any more harm than what his dementia is doing to him.

Don't feel guilty. Keep his calls blocked as long as you need.

No