You should do both, and they are not at all mutually exclusive. APS will meet with your mother and assist her to tell them in confidence of any concerns or complaints she has to make. They will then follow that up.
What I would actually *expect* is that the caretaker butts in because your mother is misunderstanding things and the caretaker is mortified about what your mother says. The caretaker should still allow your mother to express herself, even if your mother is completely wrong on her facts! - but when the lady you're looking after says things like "she's robbing me, she's stolen all my money, she's hidden my purse" and what has actually happened is pretty much the opposite, it can be hard to stand there and just take it.
But, in any case, it never never hurts to check. So report it, don't hesitate.
On the other side, my mom, with dementia, used to get on the phone with twisted sister 2 and say all sorts of things that just weren't true. Mom would leave the room to talk privately, I would not follow her it would have just increased mom's suspicions. But, ts2 believed what mom said since she spent little time with mom.
One thing I did was tell ts2 to stop calling after 4:30 pm because mom was very well into her sundowning delusions and agitation. Could it be possible that your mom is doing the same thing? What time of day do you usually call?
Who has mom's POA? Is it possible to check her accounts online to see and track transactions?
Have you thought about hiring a geriatric care manager that would check in on mom periodically? Another set of eyes are never a bad thing. How far away do you live?
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2. Keep an open mind.
You should do both, and they are not at all mutually exclusive. APS will meet with your mother and assist her to tell them in confidence of any concerns or complaints she has to make. They will then follow that up.
What I would actually *expect* is that the caretaker butts in because your mother is misunderstanding things and the caretaker is mortified about what your mother says. The caretaker should still allow your mother to express herself, even if your mother is completely wrong on her facts! - but when the lady you're looking after says things like "she's robbing me, she's stolen all my money, she's hidden my purse" and what has actually happened is pretty much the opposite, it can be hard to stand there and just take it.
But, in any case, it never never hurts to check. So report it, don't hesitate.
On the other side, my mom, with dementia, used to get on the phone with twisted sister 2 and say all sorts of things that just weren't true. Mom would leave the room to talk privately, I would not follow her it would have just increased mom's suspicions. But, ts2 believed what mom said since she spent little time with mom.
One thing I did was tell ts2 to stop calling after 4:30 pm because mom was very well into her sundowning delusions and agitation. Could it be possible that your mom is doing the same thing? What time of day do you usually call?
Who has mom's POA? Is it possible to check her accounts online to see and track transactions?
Have you thought about hiring a geriatric care manager that would check in on mom periodically? Another set of eyes are never a bad thing. How far away do you live?
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