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klh4uni Asked July 2020

Feeling like I don't care, but wondering how long will my wife remain bedridden and unable to do most everything?

My wife ended up bedridden from whole brain radiation in 2016 for advanced ovarian cancer. Cancer is in remission but the radiation has caused her to be bedridden the last 4 months, incontinent, needs to be fed, has some delusions but her vitals are all good and she continues to eat/drink, albeit not very much. I feel stuck and guilty but just need to see an end for her and for me. Not any quality of life for her right now. We do have hospice helping with sponge baths and providing meds as needed. Currently she is taking no meds -- and if she does it is just to keep her from being agitated, etc. She sleeps about 22 hours a day.

polarbear Jul 2020
I totally understand your feelings. I feel the same towards my Alz. mother, although she is not yet incontinent, except for a few accidents here and there. I hope and pray for God to take her before she becomes like your wife. There is no dignity in living like a vegetable.

The law should be changed so that people can pre-plan to end their own lives with assistance when there's no more QOL. People should really rethink treating serious health conditions like cancers just to gain a few more years of mere existence of being bedridden or wheelchair-bound. Those serious health conditions are nature's way of giving us an exit out of this life. Skip that exit, the next one will be a long way through he11 as we drag our loved ones along and ruin their lives.

Sunnygirl1 Jul 2020
Your previous thread from May was renewed earlier today. We were wondering how your wife was doing. It sounds like things may not have changed much. It can be so stressful to wonder what each day holds.

My LO is in a very similar condition. Extremely thin, no real awareness, good vitals, but not really living. It’s difficult to understand why things happen this way.

Do you have family to help support you? Sometimes, it helps me to talk with the hospice social worker.

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