I hear everyone but I feel ugh so frustrated. Help...

Can either of you go live somewhere else? For sure this is not working....

If she's strong enough to do this to you, you need to be strong enough to walk away. Well, until you feel grounded. Wishing for you, time in the sun without a worry.

I wouldn't wish the burden of being an only child on anyone. Ever. It totally sucks and I know, because I am one myself.

I have a passive aggressive narcissistic type of mother who does everything she can to drive me crazy. She gets inside my HEAD and lives there, preventing me from feeling peace of mind no matter what steps I take. I think that's what you are saying too. There's no mental escape from the BS and THAT is the hardest part of the whole mess. My 93 year old mother lives in memory care and I still struggle every day with her issues and the head games she plays with me. I even have dreams about her lately, to show you how far into my psyche she is embedded.

I don't have a magic answer for you, unfortunately, except to limit your contact to the toxicity. Same goes for your son. My mother treats my daughter like a POS so she limits her contact with her grandmother. Try to do things for yourself that occupy your mind and take up the space that she normally infiltrates, you know? At night when I lie down in bed and my thoughts drift over to what my mother has done that day, I start praying the rosary to divert my thoughts to a better subject matter.

Most people don't get where we are coming from with this issue. It's a real problem and you have my sympathy, that's for sure.

Place her in care.

Onlychild, I know you're pressed but we really do need more details about your situation to give you maximum support:
- Is "she" your mom? How old is she? Does she have dementia?
- how old are you and your son?
- are you currently working? If so, PT or FT?
- Whose house are you living in, hers or yours?
- are you in Ontario, Canada? Or California?