Advice....my grandmother doesn't understand how to operate the thermostat and she is worrying and obsessing about it so much she is having anxiety issues (stomach, nausea). Every day in the morning, I call and she panics, she whines, and sighs and tell me she is scared, and hear about how it was either too hot or too cold in the house, how she couldn't sleep. We've called the furnace repair company, three times, replaced the thermostat and I've been down there the last three days to explain how it works. She isn't understanding it. I'm a teacher, and made color coded directions, which I know are comprehensible. She just isn't able to process it, anymore and is obsessing about it and making herself anxious.
She expects it to turn on "heat" when she's cold (even though its set to 74 and it's hotter in the house than 74) and worries about it ALL day, and ALL night. I am going crazy. She doesn't want to be alone anymore, but I don't want to live there, or spend every day there, and neither does my mom. We have to hire help, but I don't know how to go about this, or how to find people to help. Or how to make her pay for it.
What do I do? How do you all cope? Do I just let her suffer there alone when its 87 out? Hear about her freezing at night? I am burning out, my mother is burnt out and I don't know what to do.
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I'd be careful of leaving her alone. And, I’d have her evaluated for cognitive decline. When someone acts that way, it a signal of a problem and there are likely other issues that are also of concern. Soon, after my LO lost ability to work thermostat, she also forgot how to use tv remote, stove, etc. Then, required AL.
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Is the thermostat digital? If so there may be the problem. I have a programmable one. Wish I had suggested it when my Mom needed a new heater. The heater and a/c set up different. Older people tend to get cold very easily. Those with heart problems get hot easily. Dad had his a/c on 68. So take that in consideration.
For me, my thermostat is set at 66 for nighttime. An hour before I get up, I have it set for 70 so the house is warm when I get up. It allows people who work to keep the house cooler while not at home and have it warm up just before getting home. Same with the a/c. You set it for the temps ur comfortable at. I would also suggest a lockbox so Mom can't touch it.
Put up a lock box and assure her it is set at the perfect, economical temp, tell her she is saving money to leave it alone and to stop worrying. You'll probably have to repeat yourself for days or weeks. Make sure she has her favorite sweater nearby.
Dementia can affect the body's temp control too, so keep an eye out for other signs.
Best of Luck
It's just an obsession, and an unhealthy one. So maybe the temperature is something that is an effect of this. She complains about being too hot or too cold so easily, the she panics. It's the panic that is so hard to deal with. It's the "I don't understand" why it's not working part that is driving me crazy.
It is obvious that you have done everything you possibly can to help your grandmother in regards to her thermostat obsession. Maybe it is time to have her put on a low dosage of a good anti-anxiety medication in order to take the "edginess" off the anxiety/panic. I'm not talking about heavily sedating her. My mom is 95 and hospice put her on the lowest dosage of one - it helps her sleep well and keeps her calm. I bet your grandmother hardly sleeps and believe me when a person doesn't sleep well like they should that alone can cause emotions, anxiety and even paranoia to run amok! My mom's is prescribed to be given up to 4x a day but, she hasn't need all those doses. She pretty much gets the "before bedtime" dose and that's it. Believe me I was worried about her being on one and it has to be the right type. There are a few that are not good for the elderly to be taking. If you get one prescribed, do some research on it - that's what my husband did at the moment when I was on the phone with hospice and they were telling me she needed it. He gave me the "ok" sign and I consented over the phone. Once she started it, I would check on her frequently just to be sure she wasn't in la la land. Just remember if you were to try it and you don't like it, just have her taken off of it under the doctor's orders as some of them you can't just stop taking cold turkey but, you may need to wean her off of it over a period of a week or so.
I've done what you've done in regards to making color-coded directions and like your grandmother she couldn't process it. Anything was just too technical for her to grasp. I wish all three of you the best and please update us!