Does anyone have any documentation where it would state a DPOA has more rights than a spouse? My 92 year old mom would like my dad to come back home because she's lonely. Her memory is failing and some days are good and other days shes scared about not remembering some things. She'll argue that her memory is fine and another day tell you she knows shes forgetting things. She forgets how difficult is was for her while she was his primary caregiver and his health was declining. Once we got him into a board and care they were able to take over and he's doing much better! Bringing him home would be to the detriment to his health and I'd likely find myself in the same situation again in a few weeks and have to find a new home and quarantine him all over again! He needs 24/7 care and she does not put his care first.
Thoughts?
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What to do about family. You can suggest but don't worry about if your suggestion is not taken. There maybe some jealousy that u were given POA.
It's a problem when the person who isn't willing to follow my requests made at the suggestion of a licensed clinical social worker to shelter my mom and myself from unnecessary grief and stress did so, she doesn't have to do the clean up, I do. The social worker said there are times it's just not worth telling everyone what's going on as they can't do anything and all they will do is worry adding to my pressure and stress. If there is no benefit, should others really be informed?
As POA responsibility is to keep Dad safe and well cared for. You may get away with telling Mom little fibs "we will have to see how well Dad does" or "doctor wants Dad in this facility for now". If Mom has Dementia, she will be enough for you to care for.
This was a preventable and I've asked my sister who's not managing his care to not tell of her planned visit and bring our mom. My sister refuses to follow my request and says it's a power trip for me to control it, is it? I wanted to prevent grief, anger and sadness from my mom that I knew would result in complaints and phone calls to me with no immediate solution and the sister doesn't have to deal with the problem she created and walks away.
The Depakote was stopped this morning and there seems to be a positive change. It took a fight with his Dr. to stop it!
Thoughts? And thoughts on control and family members who won't follow the DPoA's requests?
Thanks
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I am the PoA and DPoA for my father, mom has trouble seeing why she needs someone to be her advocate and who can actually carry out their needs. My pop had a stroke 18 months ago and has mixed Dementia. He understands going back to her would not be good for both of them. The RCF does not believe at my mom's age that she can take care of him, they are having problems and he's likely going to be evicted as his care exceeds their ability. Mom cannot get care at the same place and it would not work, she's the queen of her home and rules the roost making things even harder on my father.