Do you have suggestions for reducing my elder friend's loneliness and anxiety over the phone?
She lives alone and it is difficult to talk her down over the phone when she is anxiously headed into a panic attack. I used to visit her to reduce attacks. I need ideas that work over the phone.
Panic attacks are caused by severe nutritional deficiencies; especially B12, magnesium, and potassium. Many meds especially statins cause these deficiencies. I have experienced that severe B12 deficiencys are very common in the elderly. When panic attacks occur, a sublingual B12 will give immediate temporary relief. However, for permanent relief,it ie necessary to use a sublingual B12 every morning plus an increase of whole eggs and whoe milk in the daily diet.
You can still visit. You need to take precautions though. You can visit outside. Walk to a park, walk around the block. If you go inside wear a mask, use hand sanitizer, maintain at least 6 foot distance. (personally I would bring a pair of slipper socks and leave my shoes outside and put on slipper socks) Before you meet up with her ask yourself the typical questions and ask her as well. If she can take her temperature have her do so before your visit. And you check yours as well. She might feel better if you can even arrange a 1 day a week in person visit and the other times would be phone. Has she talked to her doctor about the anxiety? If not she might want to, there are so many medications that could help her.
I’ll never forget reading a Martha Beck article in an old Oprah magazine. She said to sit through it, don’t run from it, and it will pass. That really helped me. She said more but that’s what really helped me. I think it was a bit of distraction, waiting for it to pass. And It always did. At the time I had a very stressful job and it would hit me at night when I would try to go to sleep. I would get up and roam all over my house. Sitting one place and then the next. After reading that one article I would sit and wait for it to pass and it did. My anxiety was very specific. When that job was over, the anxiety left. So I’m not sure how helpful this would be to your friend. You might try googling Martha Beck and read some of her articles on anxiety and see if you read anything that might help. You are a good friend.
Some elders are eating very poor diets. Sugar and caffeine overload could also be a factor. She might try focusing on her diet instead of just saying "I'm old and can eat what I want." That being said, my mother-in-law says exactly that and she is a borderline diabetic. Mood swings and sugar are a bad combination. https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/how-sugar-harms-mental-health#withdrawal
Panic attacks really last about 20 minutes. The rest is the working up to and coming down from (former counselor here) the attack.
Just be there on the phone with her. Coach her with slow breathing, holding at the top of the breath for a few seconds and and the same at the bottom of the breath, again and again until it is over.
Tell her that it will be ok, and it will. Read up on panic attacks, so, afterwards, you can share the information with her (not directly after after the attack, but in a day, or so). Information is power; learned helplessness is not.
My brother-in-law had panic attacks when he had to take bone marrow samples (doctor). I asked him what he did. He said that he went in a back room, had the attack and then came back out when he was done, so he could see his patient. Almost his whole family had panic attacks, as the mother did.
Your mom will think that she is dying, but she will not. I had one one panic attack one time and I knew I was dying, but, of course, I didn’t. 😊 Never had another.
Often panic attacks run in families, often environmental, more than genetic.
If you can get her to a Psychologist who can practice Cognitive Therapy, that would help. A Cognitive Psychiatrist might assist, but in my opinion, they turn to prescribed drugs too much (just my opinion). My husband chose a Cognitive Psychiatrist and in about 6 months he got over the attacks. No drugs.
6 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
ADVERTISEMENT
You need to take precautions though.
You can visit outside. Walk to a park, walk around the block.
If you go inside wear a mask, use hand sanitizer, maintain at least 6 foot distance. (personally I would bring a pair of slipper socks and leave my shoes outside and put on slipper socks)
Before you meet up with her ask yourself the typical questions and ask her as well. If she can take her temperature have her do so before your visit. And you check yours as well.
She might feel better if you can even arrange a 1 day a week in person visit and the other times would be phone.
Has she talked to her doctor about the anxiety? If not she might want to, there are so many medications that could help her.
At the time I had a very stressful job and it would hit me at night when I would try to go to sleep. I would get up and roam all over my house. Sitting one place and then the next. After reading that one article I would sit and wait for it to pass and it did. My anxiety was very specific. When that job was over, the anxiety left. So I’m not sure how helpful this would be to your friend.
You might try googling Martha Beck and read some of her articles on anxiety and see if you read anything that might help.
You are a good friend.
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/how-sugar-harms-mental-health#withdrawal
Just be there on the phone with her. Coach her with slow breathing, holding at the top of the breath for a few seconds and and the same at the bottom of the breath, again and again until it is over.
Tell her that it will be ok, and it will. Read up on panic attacks, so, afterwards, you can share the information with her (not directly after after the attack, but in a day, or so). Information is power; learned helplessness is not.
My brother-in-law had panic attacks when he had to take bone marrow samples (doctor). I asked him what he did. He said that he went in a back room, had the attack and then came back out when he was done, so he could see his patient. Almost his whole family had panic attacks, as the mother did.
Your mom will think that she is dying, but she will not. I had one one panic attack one time and I knew I was dying, but, of course, I didn’t. 😊 Never had another.
Often panic attacks run in families, often environmental, more than genetic.
If you can get her to a Psychologist who can practice Cognitive Therapy, that would help. A Cognitive Psychiatrist might assist, but in my opinion, they turn to prescribed drugs too much (just my opinion). My husband chose a Cognitive Psychiatrist and in about 6 months he got over the attacks. No drugs.
I wish you and yours the best.