I have had my mother living in my home for 6 years. We relocated to Florida then and brought her because she hated the cold. It’s been 6 years of hell. Now I need to move back to Ohio to help out my son for at least a year. My husband and handicapped son will remain in Florida while I work remotely part of the time in Florida and in office in Ohio. My mother is saying she wants to go back to Ohio, but I’m there to care for my son and his family; not her. She’s quite sulky about this. How much she wants to die in Ohio and see her only friend one more time (which is a lie), but I’m holding firm that she’s not coming. She’s making me feel selfish and like I’m off on some vacation. Am I in the wrong?
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Your mother is demonstrating very poor judgement and lack of empathy. These are part and parcel of dementia.
Mother needs to move to a facility now. If she doesn't, you may well cause YOUR HUSBAND to become seriously ill trying to care for handicapped son AND mom.
If your DH goes down, where does that leave you and your children who are your first priority?