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Riveroaks514 Asked July 2020

How can I help my mother, who has dementia and lives in an ALF, contact her aide when she needs help?

She spends most of her day in her recliner and requires help to get up and get to the bathroom. In the past she was able to call an aide using her phone, but she no longer remembers how to do that. Her pull cords are in the bedroom and bathrooms, not near her chair. I have asked the nurse manager what can be done, but she has been unable to help me find a solution. My mother had a medical alert button in the past, before she moved into the ALF. I'm not sure she would remember use it if she had another. Any advice?

NobodyGetsIt Jul 2020
Dear "Riveroaks514",

Frankly, I'm surprised her ALF doesn't either provide a "pendant" or "wrist" call button. That's what my mom had at her previous facility. First, she had the pendant but, then became afraid of it choking her as she slept. At that point, I traded it in for the wrist band. She never, ever used either one (she was 90 at the time with mild to moderate Alzheimer's) which was very frustrating for both the facility and myself as she fell about three or four times in the five years she lived there.

Now that I moved her to a new IL/AL facility in May into their memory care wing, she has a pendant. She's 95 now with moderate to advanced Alzheimer's but is bedridden and has hospice care. She nearly died from severe dehydration and COVID-19 in April which is why she can no longer do anything without assistance. Shortly after moving in, she fell about six times within a two-week period which was a lot for her. She never used it. Finally when I would do "window visits" frequently, I would see things that were needed but couldn't be in there to do them for her. Since, I had to call her from my mobile phone to her phone while standing outside the window, I would tell her to "push" the button for x,y,z reasons. Somehow, it did help "train" her to use the button and one time when she fell, the nurse said my mom had used the pendant. I'm not saying it worked every time. But from never using it, to now being able to use it at least some of the time was better than her not using it all. I came up with the idea when I could tell the receptionist was getting annoyed when I would come to window visit almost daily and she would have to take my call and then have to call the nurses's station to open the blinds. After, her attitude was starting to get to me, that's when I came up with the plan of having my mom push her pendant to call the caregiver (I was directing her from my phone) until they came. I hope you are able to find something that works for her!

Geaton777 Jul 2020
This change may be a sign that she needs to add more help to her AL contract, or that MC or LTC is more appropriate for her.

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