How can you get an elder parent assigned a social/case worker and how long will it take when Dr. or Nurse is of no help to assist us?

We have been trying since all the COVID started but it seems to be one thing or another so a friend suggested we contact the local area on aging on getting Mom assigned a case worker to get the ball rolling to see about getting her into a memory care unit or similiar since she can no longer live on her own and has been with living with us and that has reached a point of not working either. She is 90 and we get she is old but both DH and I are returning to work full-time and we have 2 teenage kids that hopefully be in school and she cannot be left alone. We basically have to do everything for her including reminding her to use the bathroom, she will not eat unless someone makes it and brings it to her, same with drinks and sleeping is a whole other issue, she would 16+ hours a day in bed if she could. Everyone is just burnt out with arguing with her and now all arguing with each other. She doesn't have an offcial diagnosis which we were hoping to get but then COVID hit and pretty much ended that but we are almost 100% sure shes got Alzheimers or Dementia as she fits all the symptoms. She won't go to the physical Dr. office and flat out refuses to do a virtual visit so what other options are available unless we are missing something. Any input would be greatly appreciated.