I can no longer sleep. I have had all I can take!

If money is a problem you may want to consider a nice LTC facility with Medicaid footing the bill. To do this, you will need to become the Community spouse. Now this is just basic info. Every situation is different. As the CS you will be able to stay in the home and have a car. Your assets, other than SS and any pension/s, will be split with his being spent down. You will be able to pay bills. You will not become impoverished. SS and pension will play a part in offsetting the cost of his care but not sure how that will be split, if at all.

I would suggest talking to a lawyer well versed in Medicaid to see how this would work for you. Your husband will only get worse.

You have little choice. You need to care for yourself.
If he becomes violent you call 911 and tell the dispatcher you are afraid for your safety.
You also need to look into placing him in Memory Care.
Discuss this with the children but don’t give in if they try talking you out of it. Your other option would be to hire caregivers to come in and care for him.

Tudy, if you need more immediate help please don't hesitate to contact a nearby church to see if they have a care ministry and can provide someone to help you in some way. You don't need to be a member or even ever have attended that church. My church does this all the time. What kind of help do you need? You may want to call APS and report yourself as a vulnerable adult...your profile says your husband can be abusive. If he verbally threatens you with harm or lays one finger on you please call 911 immediately and they will remove him, probably to the hospital. If this happens, this is your opening to a solution: this is called an ER dump. When the hospital calls to discharge him, you say (in pretty much these exact words) "he can't come back here, I can't take care of him, he can't take of himself, I have a EDS, it is an UNSAFE DISCHARGE". They will try to pressure you a great deal to bring him back to your house but just keep repeating that it would be an unsafe discharge. Make sure everyone in your family (or anyone your husband may call) knows to NOT go get him at the hospital. At that point when they see he cannot be discharged, a social worker will get involved and they will begin the process of guardianship and placement for him. I wish you success in getting immediate help and a permanent solution.

Yes-I’m so sorry to read all that you are going through along with your own health issues -and sounds like you are not getting support from family
but it’s seems extreme and
time for professionals-
Dr appt and cognitive assessment For your husband? he seems declining rapidly
-look on this site the Find Care tab and see what help is avail in your are- and reach out to get started -

Other discussion topics on this forum address the issues you are dealing with and may help you find support
Good luck

Please contact your local area on aging to see what assistance they can give. Then maybe a state social worker to get a needs assessment.