My Dad moved in with me in May just before he started chemo therapy for adenocarcinoma in his lung. They already did direct radiation on the lump but it spread into the lymph nodes. After 3 full rounds (i think 9-10 infusions) the cancer has not gotten any smaller. The last couple of weeks I've seen some very scary things with him. Times where he's staring at me and and not connecting with my words. Times where he can't say words because his throat seems to get in the way. He eats 1 meal a day, sometimes snacks, if it's chocolate cake. 😊 He sleeps 80% of the day and he uses the restroom maybe once or twice in 24 hours. I've been on the verge of calling an ambulance several times but waited because of Covid and I didn't want him to be alone. His Doctor recommended hospice care now, and they came today to talk to us. Dad is not ready for it, he just said he's not ready to die. And it killed me inside, because I'm not ready for that either but I think we're both at a point that we need the help. I don't want to make a life decision for my Dad because of my emotions or because I'm tired. How do you get over the guilt of accepting hospice when the patient isn't ready? Should I wait until he can no longer make the decision and just muster the strength until then?
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I wouldn't wait on making this decision, because a little help is better than no help. And please don't feel guilty about your decision. You are doing what is best for your dad, and that is nothing to feel guilty about.
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The help is for you as much as it for Dad. You are not making a life or death decision for Dad, you are making a care giving decision that will provide help for both of you.