How do I reconcile past history of abuse by my father now that he is 90 yo, and in memory care?

I am a 65 yo female. I am/was a Nurse Practitioner. I had to retire 5 years ago. I have multiple sclerosis. I am the second child, oldest daughter of 5 siblings. I was very interested in medicine. Loved biology and wanted to be a nurse since 12 yo. He refused to allow me to take any nursing courses. My older brother and I had to pay rent (mine was two weeks salary). He did not pay for college. I went to college to become a nurse. My husband payed for college. After I graduated at age 30, I had two daughters, continued to work as an RN while obtaining my BSN and MSN. Paid for my partial scholarships and work. My husband was very supportive throughout this busy time. I was a good student, worked part-time job after school. My father was cruel and abusive to first 3 siblings...but he despised me the most because I was outspoken and overweight (25 lbs overweight). He was emotionally, physically abusive to first 3 kids. My sister and I also were sexually abused by him for 4 years. I was married at age 19 to a supportive, kind man. Father sexually abused my younger sister once I was married and out of the house. Both my sister and I confronted my parents when we were in our 30’s. He admitted to the sexual abuse. Very domineering father...very passive mother. Although she had 5 children, she did not like sex. Considered it her “wifely duty.” Something to endure rather than enjoy. She did not discuss menstruation or any topics remotely involving sex. My mother denied knowing anything about it. He would take us to their bedroom after dinner for a “back rub” behind locked door. My mother did not question this. She acted like it was “normal.” She was very angry at my sister & I for accusing my father of the sexual abuse. My father’s response: “you did not seem to mind. And this is done in many cultures.” He also was angry because he was concerned about his “standing” in our family. He is narcissistic and a hypochondriac. After I became a nurse, he seeks my counsel whenever he has an illnesses or sexual issues. He is 90 yo, lives in memory care. Mother died age 66. He has a selective memory, and states that he does not remember being cruel or abusive to his children.