Dept. Of Transportation contacted me today about Mom, in response to my letter sent in February. Any experience with this?

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K

Katsmihur Asked August 2020

Dept. Of Transportation contacted me today about Mom, in response to my letter sent in February. Any experience with this?

November 2019, Mom went to ER after what appeared to be a stroke just after parking at a bank. She hadn’t taken diabetes medication or testing sugars daily, claiming family doctor didn’t tell her. After my explaining the many changes in Mom’s behavior to attending doctoring hospital, a psych and neuro eval was done, resulting in mild neurocognitive decline diagnosis. She received an order banning driving till assessment was made. The problem was no one, from the ER doctor to the neurologist to the psychiatrist to the patient advocate of the hospital, processed paperwork to the state. We took her keys. Her follow up with the new PCP resulted in passing the buck to the neurologist who didn’t process the paperwork to the state, either. I wrote a letter to the department of transportation in February, heard nothing and resent it a couple months ago. Today I received a call asking me to confirm mom’s info and that she will be receiving paperwork to take to her PCP.

Has anyone experienced their loved one not following through with the paperwork, or ignoring it? I doubt she will tell me she received it.

Cognitive Decline Diabetes Driving

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score 2 · Answer 1

I think without the paperwork you next will hear that the license is revoked pending testing and documentation. I am supposing that she is no longer driving?

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score 0 · Answer 2

What is the paperwork for? If the transportation dept revoked her license there is no need for additional paperwork??
Get to your real question. There is lots in-between?

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score 3 · Answer 3

Two months passed LONG ago. State of PA transportation Dept. is backed up but told to send in my POA and, then, the rep can talk to me about mom’s file.

Continued non-communication from her - didn’t come for Thanksgiving or Christmas, even though 10 mins. away and I would get her.

Dad died 8 years ago today. Just sad. Called mom, as last year she “knew Dad died this week”, but didn’t remember it was THAT day. She said her and her brother were to go to the Cemetary today and visit Dad. Of course,I’m trying not to be hurt that she didn’t include me, but her brother (who has been around more often than not since Dad passed).

sh—-y day.

Thanks for listening. Good to type my feelings here, knowing people who understand this are reading.

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score 3 · Answer 4

From my understanding while researching this for my parents.

The DMV will request the doctor to fill out a form that gives the thumbs up for driving or against.

If the DMV is not satisfied with the dr report they will require her to come in for testing. If it is ignored they will suspend the license until such time that the instructions are followed.

Best of luck keeping her safe.

Well done! For getting this process set in motion.

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I won’t be responsible for any repercussions if she’s in an accident. The hospital psych asked if we wanted mom to have meds, but didnot explain MCD to her, nor did the follow up appt. with neurologist she saw in the hospital. Since I’m not ‘allowed’ to go to doc with her, I phone the office, asking if she’s made an appt. to review paperwork from state. So far, no appt. scheduled. What a surprise.

(2)

score 1 · Answer 5

If she doesn't they will likely suspend her license until she does. Problem is that she won't tell you THAT either.

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She would be miserable, so I really think she would have to finally say something to me. 11/8 will be two months, but state offices are running a bit behind on mailing, I plan to keep in touch with DMV.

(1)

score 1 · Answer 6

My grandsoon's PCP turned him in. Told grandson not to drive because of his epilepsy and turned him into DMV. My grandson did stop driving but it took DMV 3 months to send him a letter and a couple of weeks to send in his license.

I don't know Drs. are hesitant to report to the DMV. It should be a law that they have to.

Helpful Answer (1)

I believe it is incumbent for doc to report it to DMV. Doc is liaison to the state and must notify state of patient”s neuro cog change. Hesitant to take away an elder’s privilege to drive, I guess. Doesn’t make sense to me while everyone else on the road has to be a potential victim!

(1)

score 4 · Answer 7

DMV said they send a 2nd request letter a month later and if no response two months from date if first letter, state police are notified and will pay mom a visit to take the license.

One month gone. One to go!

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Good luck!!! Fingers crossed she doesn’t respond to the letter.

(2)

score 2 · Answer 8

Not following through can be a sign that she has short-term memory issues that will not go away. My MIL was not remembering if she had eaten that day and nearly passed out while with us in public. I'm not in your state but I don't get the impression that docs want the responsibility of ending the driving careers of seniors. I have reported 4 senior family members to their respective DMVs of their states (MN and FL) anonymously online. They received letters requiring them to come in for an eye exam and road test. None of them could make it there and so their licenses just expired. We made the cars disappear and provided ample transportation to them so they didn't feel isolated or stuck. If you have documents from your mom's doctor regarding her cognitive state, lack of self care for her diabetes, etc. and you are her PoA then I'd just send that to the DMV and report her as a dangerous driver. Do it anonymously if possible so she can't accuse you. But in the meantime you really (morally and ethically) need to prevent her from driving by removing the car from her completely so she can't endanger anyone. You can tell her any therapeutic fib you want ("It's in the shop"). Then as her financial PoA sell it and cancel the insurance. My uncle killed his own wife and dog and injured others because his family didn't do what I just suggested. It happens a lot and you don't want that on your conscience. Good luck!

Helpful Answer (2)

Thank you! I did take your advice in November. 2019:
Driving issue: you can go online to DMV site and anonymously send info detailing reasons why she shouldn't be driving. The state will probs call her in for eye or street test. If she fails, you're not the bad guy. If her driving is scary right now, please remove her car on pretense of maintenance or mechanical problems and just keep it and keys. "Taking keys from her" will be very contentious so finesse it if you can.

Do you have all her info in one place/recorded? All her important paperwork: legal, financial, medical, personal? A fire-proof safe in her own home can work to consolidate it all together (but best to scan or photocopy critical ones as your mom's cognitive condition changes and causes her to "rearrange" or lose stuff. I'm an only also and have done this with my mom. Good luck!

We took key sets from her home while she was in the hospital. Problem came when, at her follow up with neuro from ER, she wanted a ‘private’ meeting with doc. AFTERWARDS, I was ‘allowed’ in. By that time she had the doc around her finger. He didn’t remember she was given a scrip for driving eval in the hospital. We continue to hold onto her keys, but believe she went to car dealer and purchased key fob(s), paying a few hundred dollars for them ($ she doesn’t have). Contacted DMV in Feb. and just called me the other day to confirm her address to mail papers for her PCP. I’m not so sure she will follow through with the paperwork and will disregard it.

(1)

score 3 · Answer 9

bumping you up

It seems to me that if there is any question about her ability to drive the paperwork sent to her would be some kind of request for her doctor to certify her fit to drive and perhaps a notice to report for a driver's test, so if she ignores that the default would be a loss of her licence, not the opposite. But then who knows, gov't bureaucracies works in mysterious ways...

Helpful Answer (3)

That’s what the DMV said - it will be paperwork for her to take to her primary. Won’t be surprised if she disregards it.

Would DMV follow up with her if, after a certain amount of time, they dont get the paperwork from the primary ?

(1)

Dept. Of Transportation contacted me today about Mom, in response to my letter sent in February. Any experience with this?

9 Answers

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