I'm so scared. She is 80. I have called the local welfare agency and made a report and they came out and gave her a so called assessment but my mom kicked her out and they told me to call ambulance if she falls again. She has had the same clothes on for almost 2 years and she developed this weird thing of not wanting to flush the toilet, her house is falling apart as well and she doesn't care which is so out of the ordinary. She is dialing people and forgetting, she called me the other day and said she didn't do it. She is 88 pounds now and I noticed her swallowing is messed up and she fell again on Saturday and was arguing with me that she fell yesterday, I can't stand that I am watching her basically die in front of my face and there is nothing I can do about it, when I called the police on Saturday they advised they could send the fire department and they could determine if she would need to go to the emergency room or not, well they were so rude they told me not to call them ever again because she got up and then kicked them out, she is extremely mean now which she already had narcissistic personality disorder and was emotionally abusive because my father passed away when I was 1 and she blamed me but regardless I still love her and my daughter and I moved back to help her but its been HELL. I am at my wits end on what to do. I thank God I got a work at home job so I can keep an eye on her but really I am so worried I can't even focus on my job. My family is in different states and no one has advice for me because of her disorder and they are really intimidated by her. I feel very scared, alone, and honestly I don't want to feel like this. She fell so hard she messed up her thumbs and they are swollen so she doesn't cook anymore, she has isolated herself in her room and it hurts me so much to see her like this. I went to vacuum her room today and I was shocked to see that she was hoarding food and it was so dissheveled and messy which is so unlike her because she NEVER ate in her room. She also is forgetting English words and is resorting back to her native language and she never spoke to me in Vietnamese before, only English. I feel so bad inside and I just hope someone can give me some advice. Thanks so much in advance.
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You call them whenever you need to. If you get that sort of response again, insist on talking to a supervisor!
No one should ever be reluctant to call emergency services if they think they need them! I would rather respond to 100 " false alarms" than have someone die because their family was afraid I was "too busy" to respond!
Torally unacceptable behavior on their part!
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HOWEVER, from your mother's perspective, she is not suffering. She is content and wants things just how they are. She doesn't want any change. Changes make her unhappy. That's why she resists all your efforts to help her. Your calling welfare agency and the police just serves to disrupt her world and makes her angry and mean.
Let her be, let her be content in her own way, not your way. OK, so she's dirty and disheveled, and is eating in her room, so what? She's not starving. Her thumb got messed up and swollen, unless it's getting gangrene, it'll heal eventually, or it could help land her in the hospital.
You can not help her yet, so stop trying. Like ZippyZee said, you might have to wait for when she falls or gets really sick and needs hospitalization, then you may be able to get her into some care home directly from the hospital.
ER personal ,police , fire, or, ambulance, will take care of patient in need and usually transport.
Take her to her doctor tomorrow and get UTI checked, ask for other tests in office if possible.. she may have had a stroke, or other issue.
I took mom to URGENT CARE one time. Due to her age, doctor would not look at her and advise I take her to hospital.. This may be the reason in your case too.
I'm so sorry you are going through all this with your mom. I see you have already contacted a local welfare agency as well as the police.
Would you be able to take her to the ER yourself or call an ambulance? Does she have a primary care physician? If so, can you call their answering service and tell them her situation?
Or can you try calling the Alzheimer's Association 24/7 hotline and talk to one of their counselors? The person who answers the phone will take basic information and connect you with a counselor. Their phone # is 1-800-279-3900.
I hope you are able to get some help!