Does it matter whether it's Dementia or Alzheimers? My mother's memory is getting bad but she doesn't want to know what it is.

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TakeFoxAway Asked September 2020

Does it matter whether it's Dementia or Alzheimers? My mother's memory is getting bad but she doesn't want to know what it is.

My mom is 100 and in good health except for high blood pressure and some arthritis in her ankle. My brother and I are moving her to senior independent apartments where I will live with her 4 days a week. They have a nurse check them once a day. They serve dinner at night.
My mother can shower, dress herself, make her own breakfast and lunch and email me 4x a day. HOWEVER, she will forget a conversation we have an hour later. She asked me to show her how to view her bank account online. (She used to be able to). I tried to show her on Thursday but there was something wrong. I will have to call their tech dept. to see what it is. Then Friday morning she again asked me to show her how to see her bank account. I told her we tried yesterday, something is wrong and I will have to look into it. It might have only been an hour later, she asked me to show her again how to check her bank account online. She forgot that I had explained to her (and even tried to do it with her once)
So in a few months, since we decided to move her and it initially stressed her - her memory is going downhill. She knows it but doesn't really want to know if it's Alzheimers or not since she's 100.
I'm ok with that if there is nothing proven that could be done to help her memory whether it's Alzheimers or Dementia.
Does anyone know if there's anything that really works out there? My father had Alzheimers and took Namenda but we don't know if it helped or not. How can you know?
Also, if it's Dementia how bad can it get and how fast? (Of course I'm googling that too but I like hearing from real people.)
Thank you!

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score 0 · Answer 1

I do agree that Mom doesn't need to go thru all the testing but my Mom never went thru it. The tests the neurologist did were very simple. But I do think labs would not hurt. Does Mom take Cholesterol Medication, Statins. If so, they have been shown to contribute to Dementia. Some members have seen when LO has been taken off them cognitive ability seems to be better. They also are not good for the liver.

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score 1 · Answer 2

We could never really get diagnosis. They just tried things - didn't see any result from Namenda. They mainly were giving it for agitation. Have heard people on Arricept acting even more off than when they were not taking it. At her age, I don't think it would matter. My dad is not far from 100 and he cannot remember from one minute to the next. Luckily he seems to know who everyone is. On my mom's death certificate they just had vascular dementia, and that's probably what they would say is my dad's type too. His dementia seems to affect him more in his control of emotions than my mom's dementia. He just figures he has 'old timers disease' ( that's what he calls Alzheimer's.) He says he knows his brain does not work right. The progression I have seen is gradual.

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That's so funny - my dad called it "old timers' disease" too.

My mother 95% of the time knows who everyone is. Occasionally when she's super stressed, she may ask who is so & so.
Thank you so much.

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score 1 · Answer 3

As stated earlier, dementia refers to symptoms, it is not a disease. You father had Alzheimer's, that is a disease that can cause dementia symptoms. If your mom doesn't want to know the cause of her forgetfulness, don't tell her. Besides, you don't know anyway. At this point, I wouldn't do anything because getting a diagnosis is a time consuming process. Alzheimer's is a slow progressing disease and at 100 yrs old, if diagnosed with AD, I doubt if it would be the cause of her death. Also, the fact that she's pretty functional except for memory issues, may mean she has MCI, mild cognitive impairment which may or may not lead to dementia. And, no, there is nothing that really works. The meds prescribed for AD have short term, if any, effects.

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Oh! I didn't even know there WAS such a thing as MCI. My friends think she is just plain old a bit senile - which maybe the old fashioned term for MCI or maybe even Dementia. Very helpful. Thank you.

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score 3 · Answer 4

Your mother is 100, God bless her. Leave her alone & don't put her through the torture of all the useless SLUMS and MOCA tests the doctors dole out, what's the point? Those that think there are 'medications' available for memory loss and dementia are sadly mistaken.

Allow your dear mother to live the rest of her days in peace, on HER terms, without interference of any kind, unless she needs to get rushed to the ER for something acute.

All the best of luck

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score 2 · Answer 5

No, at 100, if she is not curious about which form of dementia she has, there is utterly no reason for her to know. As to how bad can it get and how fast, that is variable for every person no matter what type of dementia they may have. If one is younger it may be useful to "know". Dementia's progress in a different manner. For instance, Alzheimer's is a steady and inexorable decline down a curve, down a slope. Many frontal lobe dementias go down by stairsteps, that is to say a fall down one step and stay a while, down another and stay a while. And Lewy's can manifest as up and down and all over the place looking like a stock market chart. But all 100, to be frank, there is no reason for her to know ANYTHING she doesn't want to. I am 78 and can say she's WAY ahead of me on online banking. I won't even ATTEMPT it. Took me ages of contemplation to brave a Kindle. (Now I love it. What a site saver).

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score 0 · Answer 6

Yes, it does matter what kind of Dementia she has because of medications used. But I would not assume that is Moms problem. She is 100 so there is some cognitive decline as we age. I would have her evaluated. Have labs done. It could be mini strokes, potassium levels are low, diabetes, dehydration, etc. Once u know what is causing the problem you can then medicate it.

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score 2 · Answer 7

Dementia is a symptom that causes loss of memory, language usage, logic.

Alzheimer’s is a disease condition resulting from “plaques” developing in the brain. One of the symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease is dementia.

At 100, she is entitled (in my opinion) to NOT know anything she decides, one way or the other.

She APPEARS to be comfortable with acknowledging that her “memory isn’t what it used to be”. If that is so, GREAT!

Unless you have confidence that a trial of a medication is going to be substantially helpful in making her life better, OR she insists on trying it herself, what other reason would there be?

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Does it matter whether it's Dementia or Alzheimers? My mother's memory is getting bad but she doesn't want to know what it is.

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