My husband is 87 yrs. old, on dialysis 3 times a week. He's now suffering from dementia. He's very difficult to deal with, and unreasonable.

Hey, MercyDee,
Did you find your way over here yet?

You need to get to a lawyer to secure your half of the marital assets. One who is versed in Medicaid. Too many go thru their life savings caring for a spouse when Medicaid allows for a "Community" spouse. This means assets are split. The person needing care spends down their half and then applies for Medicaid. The Community spouse remains in the home and is allowed a car. Not sure how SS and pensions are split but you will be able to pay bills.

As Shane mentioned, the people at dialysis maybe able to provide transportation for your husband.

Sorry but why are his accounts in his name only? How long have you been married? I myself would not have allowed this for many reasons.

He can take county transportation to dialysis and if no county transportation is available speak to the social worker at the dialysis center (every dialysis center is federally regulated and must have a MSW) as husband may qualify for taxi vouchers to get to and from dialysis. If he doesn’t qualify why does he have $100 bills on him going to dialysis? They could get stolen.

If my husband refused to give me access to his funds, I’d divorce him and get my 50% & leave. He’s being unreasonable & needs to get a dose of his own medicine.

He must be somewhat with it if he chooses to go to dialysis 3x/week and consenting to treatment. Has he been this selfish your entire marriage? Did you have to ask him for money? Are you afraid of him?

This irks me because as his wife you are an equal partner and for you to accept anything less is not standing up for your rights. Don’t be bullied by him.

If you do go for conservative status who’s going to pay? Make sure he does as it costs $5-10K.

Get yourself an attorney and get yourself free.

This is certainly a challenging situation. Why is he taking a taxi alone is he is not aware of what he is doing? Seems like it might not be a great idea? I am sorry to sound like I'm judging. I mean no disrespect. You have your hands full.

I agree with others - you need an attorney's advice on this. I'm not sure what you should do but get that phone call made ASAP so you can get this under control.

What a person has dementia they aren’t any longer capable of assigning POA or any other legal documents. It wouldn’t be valid as he isn’t of sound mind any longer. You need a good elder care attorney to advise you on your next steps