I am caring for my mom, at first at her house but when things got too hard and she couldn't really be alone long, I moved her in with me and my husband. She makes 1400 a month and that is too much to get assistance or pay me for caring for her. She still keeps her house because she owns it although we have to take care of some legal things because the man selling it died before it was completely paid off. She owed only a thousand dollars when he passed. Does anyone know where to find legal advice cheap in CA? But that is not the original question I wanted to ask. How do I get help so I can have a break? I am an only child and my daughter use to help when I needed a break but my mom has a habit of taking forever to get in her wheelchair so she can get to the bathroom and my daughter has a 2 year old and my mom is very inconsiderate of slow playing everything we try to do for her. My daughter can't watch her child and wait for my mom to help us. I asked mom about it and she admits she does it on purpose but doesn't know why exactly. So my only breaks are now non existant. Is there a organization I can contact to help me get breaks?
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With Mom bringing in only 1400 a month I don't know why she wouldn't qualify for something. Medicaid as her suppliment to Medicare. This way she would get prescriptions, maybe dental and vision plus the 20% Medicare does pay. My Mom brought in 1700 and was able to get PADD from the state to pay for her prescriptions.
You posted on May 7 and before that 2018. Seems like nothing has changed. Mom may be more than you can now handle. Her strokes may have now contributed to a Dementia. That is the reason she does know why she did something on purpose. From your 2018 post, Mom and you have had problems since her stroke. I would have her evaluated and if ur told she needs 24/7 care, consider placing her in a home with Medicaid footing the bill if all she has in assets is the house. In the meantime, contact Medicaid and see if she qualifies for "in home" care. This will give you an aide for a few hours.
Call your Office of Aging and ask if they have a number for Legal Aid. If you can get the house worked out, it could be sold for her care. Office of Aging also has resources you may be able to take advantage of.
I hope your Mom had some kind of agreement with this man. I am assuming he held the Mortgage or she was renting to buy. I would not wait long to work this out. If he has an estate, the Executor should be made aware that the house cannot be sold until its established who owns it. Who paid taxes. Is the tax bill in her name or the mans? Hope Mom kept records of all her payments.
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I think your mother probably "admitted she does it on purpose" in the same way that some elderly frail people accuse themselves of being "lazy" or "useless" when they themselves cannot understand why they can't manage everyday tasks as quickly and easily as they used to. Why does it take them fifteen minutes to walk to the bathroom? How can it take anyone ten minutes to put on their socks?
It. Just. Does.
Not expecting any task to take less time than it actually does take will relieve you of a ridiculous amount of stress. It's such an obvious thing, but really-and-truly accepting the truth of it makes such a difference.
And then, have you contacted your local Area Agency on Aging? That's often the best place to start for advice and information.
Your mom can and should pay you from the funds she has. And she should pay for caregivers that come in to help out.
I suggest, for low cost legal advice to contact the Bar Association they may have some lawyers that do low cost service for seniors. But most lawyers will offer a consultation for free or reduced cost.